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  3. Overheard Conversation of Software Tester buying a Car.

Overheard Conversation of Software Tester buying a Car.

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  • P Pete OHanlon

    Way too much time on your hands, but I have to award a 5 for that.

    I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

    Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

    My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

    N Offline
    N Offline
    NormDroid
    wrote on last edited by
    #30

    Why thank you, Sir!

    Software Kinetics - The home of good software

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • H Hugh Jarce 1

      Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.

      H Offline
      H Offline
      Hugh Jarce 1
      wrote on last edited by
      #31

      One silly post, one page full of anger to a complete stranger, what a strange place the internet is.....my job here is done. Byeee!

      R N T S J 5 Replies Last reply
      0
      • P Pete OHanlon

        It makes them swell.

        I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

        Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

        My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

        R Offline
        R Offline
        Rajesh R Subramanian
        wrote on last edited by
        #32

        I told you not to use the air gun for applying cream. I know it's macho and all, but the swelling is just not worth it.

        "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

        D P 2 Replies Last reply
        0
        • N NormDroid

          That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.

                                      ##### | #####
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                        |                  # #
                                          #   #
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                        |  |             #     #               |
                               | |   |   # .-. #         |
                                         #( O )#    |    |     |
                        |  ################. .###############  |
                         ##  _ _|____|     ###     |_ __| _  ##
                        #  |                                |  #
                        #  |    |    |    |   |    |    |   |  #
                         ######################################
                                         #     #
                                          #####
                                     OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO
          

          Software Kinetics - The home of good software

          K Offline
          K Offline
          Kasson
          wrote on last edited by
          #33

          My 5 too.

          With Regards, Kasson. Birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • R Rajesh R Subramanian

            I told you not to use the air gun for applying cream. I know it's macho and all, but the swelling is just not worth it.

            "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

            D Offline
            D Offline
            Dalek Dave
            wrote on last edited by
            #34

            I heard it was applied with thistles.

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • H Hugh Jarce 1

              [quote]OP -If I post crap in the lounge, will I get high votes. Us - No. [/quote] This isn't rude? and an attack on a new member? I was just going with the flow....

              realJSOPR Offline
              realJSOPR Offline
              realJSOP
              wrote on last edited by
              #35

              No, it wasn't rude. You posted crap in the lounge, and Pete posted an honest (and accurate) assessment of the message. If you want rude, I am prepared to provide an example. BTW, "new member" status does not automatically mean you're allowed to post crap and go unnoticed as a result.

              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • R Rajesh R Subramanian

                I told you not to use the air gun for applying cream. I know it's macho and all, but the swelling is just not worth it.

                "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                P Offline
                P Offline
                Pete OHanlon
                wrote on last edited by
                #36

                But it tickles.

                I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                D R 2 Replies Last reply
                0
                • H Hugh Jarce 1

                  One silly post, one page full of anger to a complete stranger, what a strange place the internet is.....my job here is done. Byeee!

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Rajesh R Subramanian
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #37

                  Hugh Jarce 1 wrote:

                  Byeee!

                  Oh, no! I thought we could keep you around for a comic relief. :)

                  "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • P Pete OHanlon

                    But it tickles.

                    I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                    Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                    My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                    D Offline
                    D Offline
                    Dalek Dave
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #38

                    How do you know it tickles? Did you have a few Test Tickles first?

                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                    P 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • D Dalek Dave

                      How do you know it tickles? Did you have a few Test Tickles first?

                      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                      P Offline
                      P Offline
                      Pete OHanlon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #39

                      Oh, very good. That's scrotally the right answer.

                      I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                      Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                      D 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • P Pete OHanlon

                        Ooh. I am cut to the quick by such a shining wit. You are obviously an intellectual giant among pygmies, judging by the subtlety of your post. I stand in awe of your Oscar Wilde style wit.

                        I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                        Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                        My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                        realJSOPR Offline
                        realJSOPR Offline
                        realJSOP
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #40

                        PANDERER! :)

                        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                        L 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • N NormDroid

                          That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.

                                                      ##### | #####
                                                     # _ _ #|# _ _ #
                                                     #      |      #
                                               |       ############
                                                           # #
                                        |                  # #
                                                          #   #
                                               |     |    #   #      |        |
                                        |  |             #     #               |
                                               | |   |   # .-. #         |
                                                         #( O )#    |    |     |
                                        |  ################. .###############  |
                                         ##  _ _|____|     ###     |_ __| _  ##
                                        #  |                                |  #
                                        #  |    |    |    |   |    |    |   |  #
                                         ######################################
                                                         #     #
                                                          #####
                                                     OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO
                          

                          Software Kinetics - The home of good software

                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOP
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #41

                          Too bad the site doesn't allow us to post replies in Silverlight. If it did, we could have an animation of a new member putting his head up his own ass.

                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                          N 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • P Pete OHanlon

                            But it tickles.

                            I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                            Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                            My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                            R Offline
                            R Offline
                            Rajesh R Subramanian
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #42

                            Yeah, I know. What's that Russian gun called again? Some Kalashnikov 47... That could do some serious tickling. Especially with steel core bullets - and don't forget to tip the bullets with the cream, or it could actually hurt. :)

                            "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • realJSOPR realJSOP

                              Too bad the site doesn't allow us to post replies in Silverlight. If it did, we could have an animation of a new member putting his head up his own ass.

                              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                              N Offline
                              N Offline
                              NormDroid
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #43

                              I could link to my silverlight site and cook up an animation.

                              Software Kinetics - The home of good software

                              realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • H Hugh Jarce 1

                                Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.

                                realJSOPR Offline
                                realJSOPR Offline
                                realJSOP
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #44

                                In all actuality, I should have some sympathy for you. Some folks here don't get my brand of humor either, but the joke you posted sucks so universally, that the entire solar system might be drawn into the ensuing black hole.

                                ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                modified on Tuesday, January 11, 2011 8:20 AM

                                A R M 3 Replies Last reply
                                0
                                • H Hugh Jarce 1

                                  One silly post, one page full of anger to a complete stranger, what a strange place the internet is.....my job here is done. Byeee!

                                  N Offline
                                  N Offline
                                  NormDroid
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #45

                                  Hugh Jarce 1 wrote:

                                  what a strange place the internet is

                                  Yep, got to agree with you on that one. Give it a few days let the dust settle and come back - there's no anger here (:~) only fun.

                                  Software Kinetics - The home of good software

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • P Pete OHanlon

                                    Oh, very good. That's scrotally the right answer.

                                    I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                                    Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                                    My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                                    D Offline
                                    D Offline
                                    Dalek Dave
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #46

                                    I hope so, otherwise I could be facing the sack!

                                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                                    P 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • H Hugh Jarce 1

                                      One silly post, one page full of anger to a complete stranger, what a strange place the internet is.....my job here is done. Byeee!

                                      T Offline
                                      T Offline
                                      thatraja
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #47

                                      Hugh Jarce 1 wrote:

                                      One silly post, one page full of anger to a complete stranger, what a strange place the internet is.....my job here is done. Byeee!

                                      Don't go man, I'm also one of the worst debator here. Come with good/new one next time, surely people will praise you. BTW I'm trying the same.

                                      thatraja


                                      **My Tip/Tricks
                                      My Dad had a Heart Attack on this day so don't...
                                      **

                                      P 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • D Dalek Dave

                                        I hope so, otherwise I could be facing the sack!

                                        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                                        P Offline
                                        P Offline
                                        Pete OHanlon
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #48

                                        Very ballsy of you I must say.

                                        I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                                        Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                                        My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                                        J 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • T thatraja

                                          Hugh Jarce 1 wrote:

                                          One silly post, one page full of anger to a complete stranger, what a strange place the internet is.....my job here is done. Byeee!

                                          Don't go man, I'm also one of the worst debator here. Come with good/new one next time, surely people will praise you. BTW I'm trying the same.

                                          thatraja


                                          **My Tip/Tricks
                                          My Dad had a Heart Attack on this day so don't...
                                          **

                                          P Offline
                                          P Offline
                                          Pete OHanlon
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #49

                                          It was marked as a rant, not as a joke. People seem to have missed that small, but important, point. [Edit]Give my account a minute to compensate for your 1-vote.[/Edit]

                                          I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                                          Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                                          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                                          T 1 Reply Last reply
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