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  3. Overheard Conversation of Software Tester buying a Car.

Overheard Conversation of Software Tester buying a Car.

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  • H Hugh Jarce 1

    Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.

    N Offline
    N Offline
    NormDroid
    wrote on last edited by
    #27

    That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.

                                ##### | #####
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                  |  ################. .###############  |
                   ##  _ _|____|     ###     |_ __| _  ##
                  #  |                                |  #
                  #  |    |    |    |   |    |    |   |  #
                   ######################################
                                   #     #
                                    #####
                               OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO
    

    Software Kinetics - The home of good software

    P K realJSOPR 3 Replies Last reply
    0
    • P Pete OHanlon

      It makes them swell.

      I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

      Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

      D Offline
      D Offline
      Dalek Dave
      wrote on last edited by
      #28

      I always thought you were a swell guy! Now I know I was right! :)

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • N NormDroid

        That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.

                                    ##### | #####
                                   # _ _ #|# _ _ #
                                   #      |      #
                             |       ############
                                         # #
                      |                  # #
                                        #   #
                             |     |    #   #      |        |
                      |  |             #     #               |
                             | |   |   # .-. #         |
                                       #( O )#    |    |     |
                      |  ################. .###############  |
                       ##  _ _|____|     ###     |_ __| _  ##
                      #  |                                |  #
                      #  |    |    |    |   |    |    |   |  #
                       ######################################
                                       #     #
                                        #####
                                   OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO
        

        Software Kinetics - The home of good software

        P Offline
        P Offline
        Pete OHanlon
        wrote on last edited by
        #29

        Way too much time on your hands, but I have to award a 5 for that.

        I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

        Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

        My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

        N 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • P Pete OHanlon

          Way too much time on your hands, but I have to award a 5 for that.

          I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

          Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

          N Offline
          N Offline
          NormDroid
          wrote on last edited by
          #30

          Why thank you, Sir!

          Software Kinetics - The home of good software

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • H Hugh Jarce 1

            Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.

            H Offline
            H Offline
            Hugh Jarce 1
            wrote on last edited by
            #31

            One silly post, one page full of anger to a complete stranger, what a strange place the internet is.....my job here is done. Byeee!

            R N T S J 5 Replies Last reply
            0
            • P Pete OHanlon

              It makes them swell.

              I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

              Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

              My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

              R Offline
              R Offline
              Rajesh R Subramanian
              wrote on last edited by
              #32

              I told you not to use the air gun for applying cream. I know it's macho and all, but the swelling is just not worth it.

              "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

              D P 2 Replies Last reply
              0
              • N NormDroid

                That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.

                                            ##### | #####
                                           # _ _ #|# _ _ #
                                           #      |      #
                                     |       ############
                                                 # #
                              |                  # #
                                                #   #
                                     |     |    #   #      |        |
                              |  |             #     #               |
                                     | |   |   # .-. #         |
                                               #( O )#    |    |     |
                              |  ################. .###############  |
                               ##  _ _|____|     ###     |_ __| _  ##
                              #  |                                |  #
                              #  |    |    |    |   |    |    |   |  #
                               ######################################
                                               #     #
                                                #####
                                           OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO
                

                Software Kinetics - The home of good software

                K Offline
                K Offline
                Kasson
                wrote on last edited by
                #33

                My 5 too.

                With Regards, Kasson. Birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • R Rajesh R Subramanian

                  I told you not to use the air gun for applying cream. I know it's macho and all, but the swelling is just not worth it.

                  "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                  D Offline
                  D Offline
                  Dalek Dave
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #34

                  I heard it was applied with thistles.

                  ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • H Hugh Jarce 1

                    [quote]OP -If I post crap in the lounge, will I get high votes. Us - No. [/quote] This isn't rude? and an attack on a new member? I was just going with the flow....

                    realJSOPR Offline
                    realJSOPR Offline
                    realJSOP
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #35

                    No, it wasn't rude. You posted crap in the lounge, and Pete posted an honest (and accurate) assessment of the message. If you want rude, I am prepared to provide an example. BTW, "new member" status does not automatically mean you're allowed to post crap and go unnoticed as a result.

                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • R Rajesh R Subramanian

                      I told you not to use the air gun for applying cream. I know it's macho and all, but the swelling is just not worth it.

                      "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                      P Offline
                      P Offline
                      Pete OHanlon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #36

                      But it tickles.

                      I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                      Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                      My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                      D R 2 Replies Last reply
                      0
                      • H Hugh Jarce 1

                        One silly post, one page full of anger to a complete stranger, what a strange place the internet is.....my job here is done. Byeee!

                        R Offline
                        R Offline
                        Rajesh R Subramanian
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #37

                        Hugh Jarce 1 wrote:

                        Byeee!

                        Oh, no! I thought we could keep you around for a comic relief. :)

                        "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • P Pete OHanlon

                          But it tickles.

                          I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                          Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                          D Offline
                          D Offline
                          Dalek Dave
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #38

                          How do you know it tickles? Did you have a few Test Tickles first?

                          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                          P 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • D Dalek Dave

                            How do you know it tickles? Did you have a few Test Tickles first?

                            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                            P Offline
                            P Offline
                            Pete OHanlon
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #39

                            Oh, very good. That's scrotally the right answer.

                            I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                            Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                            My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                            D 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • P Pete OHanlon

                              Ooh. I am cut to the quick by such a shining wit. You are obviously an intellectual giant among pygmies, judging by the subtlety of your post. I stand in awe of your Oscar Wilde style wit.

                              I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                              Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                              My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                              realJSOPR Offline
                              realJSOPR Offline
                              realJSOP
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #40

                              PANDERER! :)

                              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                              L 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • N NormDroid

                                That's one way to take a reputation nose dive.

                                                            ##### | #####
                                                           # _ _ #|# _ _ #
                                                           #      |      #
                                                     |       ############
                                                                 # #
                                              |                  # #
                                                                #   #
                                                     |     |    #   #      |        |
                                              |  |             #     #               |
                                                     | |   |   # .-. #         |
                                                               #( O )#    |    |     |
                                              |  ################. .###############  |
                                               ##  _ _|____|     ###     |_ __| _  ##
                                              #  |                                |  #
                                              #  |    |    |    |   |    |    |   |  #
                                               ######################################
                                                               #     #
                                                                #####
                                                           OOOOOOO|OOOOOOO
                                

                                Software Kinetics - The home of good software

                                realJSOPR Offline
                                realJSOPR Offline
                                realJSOP
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #41

                                Too bad the site doesn't allow us to post replies in Silverlight. If it did, we could have an animation of a new member putting his head up his own ass.

                                ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                N 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • P Pete OHanlon

                                  But it tickles.

                                  I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                                  Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                                  My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                                  R Offline
                                  R Offline
                                  Rajesh R Subramanian
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #42

                                  Yeah, I know. What's that Russian gun called again? Some Kalashnikov 47... That could do some serious tickling. Especially with steel core bullets - and don't forget to tip the bullets with the cream, or it could actually hurt. :)

                                  "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                    Too bad the site doesn't allow us to post replies in Silverlight. If it did, we could have an animation of a new member putting his head up his own ass.

                                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                    -----
                                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                    -----
                                    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                    N Offline
                                    N Offline
                                    NormDroid
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #43

                                    I could link to my silverlight site and cook up an animation.

                                    Software Kinetics - The home of good software

                                    realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • H Hugh Jarce 1

                                      Tester - Can I drive the car with my eyes closed? Salesman - No you can't drive the car with your eyes closed. Tester - If I repeatedly kick the indicator stalk, will it break? Salesman - Probably. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - If I deliberately crash the car at high speed off a cliff am I likely to be injured? Salesman - The car is not intended for that purpose. Tester - Hurrumph. Tester - Does the car come with a manual? Salesman - Yes! Tester - Can the manual be used to light fires? Salesman - Yes, but that is not its intended purpose. Tester - Erm, if I get in the car and dont follow signs, disregard my driver training, deliberately misuse the controls will I get home safely? Salesman - Probably not. Tester - Bah, what kind of car is this? Tester - Are its headlights sledgehammer proof? Salesman - No. Tester - Can it read my mind? Salesman - No. Tester - If I dive out of the door at 60 mph will I be safe, and the car find its own way home? Salesman - No. Tester - If I disregard every rule of logic and deliberately try and injure people by driving recklessly on the pavements will the car keep me and the pedestrians safe? Salesman - No.

                                      realJSOPR Offline
                                      realJSOPR Offline
                                      realJSOP
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #44

                                      In all actuality, I should have some sympathy for you. Some folks here don't get my brand of humor either, but the joke you posted sucks so universally, that the entire solar system might be drawn into the ensuing black hole.

                                      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                      -----
                                      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                      -----
                                      "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                      modified on Tuesday, January 11, 2011 8:20 AM

                                      A R M 3 Replies Last reply
                                      0
                                      • H Hugh Jarce 1

                                        One silly post, one page full of anger to a complete stranger, what a strange place the internet is.....my job here is done. Byeee!

                                        N Offline
                                        N Offline
                                        NormDroid
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #45

                                        Hugh Jarce 1 wrote:

                                        what a strange place the internet is

                                        Yep, got to agree with you on that one. Give it a few days let the dust settle and come back - there's no anger here (:~) only fun.

                                        Software Kinetics - The home of good software

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • P Pete OHanlon

                                          Oh, very good. That's scrotally the right answer.

                                          I'm not a stalker, I just know things. Oh by the way, you're out of milk.

                                          Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

                                          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Onyx

                                          D Offline
                                          D Offline
                                          Dalek Dave
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #46

                                          I hope so, otherwise I could be facing the sack!

                                          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC League Table Link CCC Link[^]

                                          P 1 Reply Last reply
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