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  3. How to tell you've been married a long time.........

How to tell you've been married a long time.........

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

    My wife and I were at home watching TV. I had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. She became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For God's sakes, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish".

    Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
    www.jaxcoder.com[^] WinHeist

    J Offline
    J Offline
    Johnny J
    wrote on last edited by
    #5

    Couldn't happen in my house - the remote control seems to be surgically attached to my wife's hand. And she's got the fastest hand in the west. The channels are flipping by so fast that I can't even register what's playing. But it doesn't matter because there's never anything good on anyway. I just wish she would leave the remote alone and let me put on a video instead of the tv crap.

    Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
    -----
    Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
    -----
    Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
    -----
    Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

    T J 2 Replies Last reply
    0
    • M musefan

      This is a cut down version of the one I heard.. the other was better

      I may or may not be responsible for my own actions

      J Offline
      J Offline
      Johnny J
      wrote on last edited by
      #6

      Post it for comparative scrutinizing...

      Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
      -----
      Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
      -----
      Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
      -----
      Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

      X 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • J Johnny J

        Couldn't happen in my house - the remote control seems to be surgically attached to my wife's hand. And she's got the fastest hand in the west. The channels are flipping by so fast that I can't even register what's playing. But it doesn't matter because there's never anything good on anyway. I just wish she would leave the remote alone and let me put on a video instead of the tv crap.

        Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
        -----
        Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
        -----
        Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
        -----
        Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

        T Offline
        T Offline
        twohowlingdogs
        wrote on last edited by
        #7

        Be like us. We don't have any TV stations. Just haven't gotten cable and don't like the dishes on the roof. So we resort to Redbox and Netflix. But I may break down soon and pay for cable. :sigh:

        If you know what I mean...and I think you do...

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • C Chris Meech

          Didn't you recently post about getting a fishing kit. :cool:

          Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

          Mike HankeyM Offline
          Mike HankeyM Offline
          Mike Hankey
          wrote on last edited by
          #8

          I did didn't I...busted. :)

          Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
          www.jaxcoder.com[^] WinHeist

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

            My wife and I were at home watching TV. I had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. She became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For God's sakes, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish".

            Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
            www.jaxcoder.com[^] WinHeist

            R Offline
            R Offline
            Rhuros
            wrote on last edited by
            #9

            boom boom tish...

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

              My wife and I were at home watching TV. I had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. She became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For God's sakes, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish".

              Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
              www.jaxcoder.com[^] WinHeist

              T Offline
              T Offline
              Thats Aragon
              wrote on last edited by
              #10

              Repost[^]

              Regards :)

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • J Johnny J

                Post it for comparative scrutinizing...

                Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
                -----
                Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
                -----
                Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                -----
                Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

                X Offline
                X Offline
                Xiangyang Liu
                wrote on last edited by
                #11

                Johnny J. wrote:

                Post it for comparative scrutinizing...

                Include pictures ...

                My Younger Son & His "PET"

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

                  My wife and I were at home watching TV. I had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. She became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For God's sakes, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish".

                  Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
                  www.jaxcoder.com[^] WinHeist

                  S Offline
                  S Offline
                  Septimus Hedgehog
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #12

                  Some years ago, I was with my wife in a shop trying on some sunglasses. I put a pair on and asked her if they made me look dark and mysterious. "Yes," she replied, "like a swamp." :)

                  L 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • S Septimus Hedgehog

                    Some years ago, I was with my wife in a shop trying on some sunglasses. I put a pair on and asked her if they made me look dark and mysterious. "Yes," she replied, "like a swamp." :)

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #13

                    A number of years ago I was in the supermarket with my wife when she spotted a large tub of biscuits on special offer. You don't need those I said. Why not she asked. Cos you're too f*&%ing fat already I replied. Turns out that was a bad move.

                    Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

                    J F 2 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • L Lost User

                      A number of years ago I was in the supermarket with my wife when she spotted a large tub of biscuits on special offer. You don't need those I said. Why not she asked. Cos you're too f*&%ing fat already I replied. Turns out that was a bad move.

                      Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

                      J Offline
                      J Offline
                      Johnny J
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #14

                      No shite? :laugh: How long did it take you to regain mobility? :rolleyes:

                      Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
                      -----
                      Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
                      -----
                      Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                      -----
                      Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • L Lost User

                        A number of years ago I was in the supermarket with my wife when she spotted a large tub of biscuits on special offer. You don't need those I said. Why not she asked. Cos you're too f*&%ing fat already I replied. Turns out that was a bad move.

                        Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

                        F Offline
                        F Offline
                        fjdiewornncalwe
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #15

                        "Instant Vasectomy"

                        I wasn't, now I am, then I won't be anymore.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

                          My wife and I were at home watching TV. I had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. She became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For God's sakes, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish".

                          Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
                          www.jaxcoder.com[^] WinHeist

                          N Offline
                          N Offline
                          Nagy Vilmos
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #16

                          ... You plan a nice early night on your wedding aniversary ... ... so you can sleep. Ten years ago today Beautiful Girlfriend become Darling Wife. :-D


                          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often *students*, for heaven's sake. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

                          Mike HankeyM 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • J Johnny J

                            Couldn't happen in my house - the remote control seems to be surgically attached to my wife's hand. And she's got the fastest hand in the west. The channels are flipping by so fast that I can't even register what's playing. But it doesn't matter because there's never anything good on anyway. I just wish she would leave the remote alone and let me put on a video instead of the tv crap.

                            Why can't I be applicable like John? - Me, April 2011
                            -----
                            Beidh ceol, caint agus craic againn - Seán Bán Breathnach
                            -----
                            Da mihi sis crustum Etruscum cum omnibus in eo!
                            -----
                            Just because a thing is new don’t mean that it’s better - Will Rogers, September 4, 1932

                            J Online
                            J Online
                            jeron1
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #17

                            Johnny J. wrote:

                            the remote control seems to be surgically attached to my wife's hand

                            Our wives must be related! :laugh:

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

                              My wife and I were at home watching TV. I had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. She became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For God's sakes, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish".

                              Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
                              www.jaxcoder.com[^] WinHeist

                              R Offline
                              R Offline
                              Rick Shaub
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #18

                              You should have replied that you're used to thinking about fishing to make it last longer.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • N Nagy Vilmos

                                ... You plan a nice early night on your wedding aniversary ... ... so you can sleep. Ten years ago today Beautiful Girlfriend become Darling Wife. :-D


                                Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H OK, I will win to day or my name isn't Ethel Crudacre! - DD Ethel Crudacre Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often *students*, for heaven's sake. -- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

                                Mike HankeyM Offline
                                Mike HankeyM Offline
                                Mike Hankey
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #19

                                Happy anniversary...a good woman is hard to find.

                                Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
                                www.jaxcoder.com[^] WinHeist

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • Mike HankeyM Mike Hankey

                                  My wife and I were at home watching TV. I had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel. She became more and more annoyed and finally said: "For God's sakes, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish".

                                  Semper Fi http://www.hq4thmarinescomm.com[^]
                                  www.jaxcoder.com[^] WinHeist

                                  S Offline
                                  S Offline
                                  Slacker007
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #20

                                  32 5 votes. Way to go.

                                  -- You don't hire a handyman to build a house, you hire a specialist.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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