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My Wife is Funny

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  • T TheGreatAndPowerfulOz

    There was no threat. She wasn't carrying and don't try to tell me that quoting a bullet size to someone who's probably ignorant of its meaning is a threat. Especially when it's out-of-context and you're not carrying.

    If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
    You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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    Peter Mulholland
    wrote on last edited by
    #94

    Where you there too, or did you just forget to switch from the sock puppet account John?

    Pete

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    • D Dr Walt Fair PE

      That's really pretty sad. I'm also from Texas, but I speak English and Spanish fluently, having taught engineering courses and written engineering reports in Spanish and made a living as a translator. My mother was German and I was at one time fluent in German. I learned conversational Khmer and Vietnamese and Laotian, but now only remember some phrases and the names of the characters/letters. When I went to Indonesia, after 2 weeks, I taught the last day of class in Bahasa Indonesian. I also worked for a French company and learned to read that pretty well, although I never practiced enough to get the pronunciation correct. Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

      CQ de W5ALT

      Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software

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      Manfred Rudolf Bihy
      wrote on last edited by
      #95

      Countering the uni-hole ass-voter(s)! 5+

      "With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine."

      Ross Callon, The Twelve Networking Truths, RFC1925

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      • P Pete OHanlon

        Mel - while I agree with most of your sentiment, I believe that you stepped over the line insulting his wife. That's not cool.

        Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

        "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

        My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility

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        Mel Padden
        wrote on last edited by
        #96

        Fair enough - I will recant. Although, strictly speaking he brought her into it so... they were both laughing in dystopian zeal at this gleeful haranguing of someone earning probably a tenth of what they earn, trying to help them out, so do you mind if I modify it by calling them both morally bereft sinkholes of the human spirit who should take a look at themselves in the mirror before this irate Paddy gets the next flight to Texas, with the express intention of fetching them both a clip about the ear and telling them to mind their manners? I mean, seriously. The problem with behaviour like this is that the people who are doing it always seem to think it's somehow justified by their own petty frustrations, people are out of work so why are these guys here, why should I have to listen to Spanish in my own store, and solipsistic twaddle like that. It behoves the rest of us to administer a forum-friendly slapinthefacewithawetfish, if you ask me. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/5267392.stm[^] Go forth ye fish-wielding vigilantes.

        Smokie, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. www.geticeberg.com http://melpadden.wordpress.com

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        • realJSOPR realJSOP

          We live in Texas. In the United States. One of the few countries that is not brave enough to specify a "national language". This weekend, we were in a furniture store being helped by a Hispanic guy. In the middle of our visit, one of the warehouse monkies came up to him and started a conversation about some furniture that we were inquiring about. The conversation was entirely in Spanish. This really irritated my wife, so she interrupted them. "My husband and I speak English and .45ACP. How would you like to proceed?" Looks like I'll be getting a new t-shirt soon. :)

          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

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          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #97

          I use this tactic but in reverse (not in the cusomter service field... er shoudl be obvious seeing as I am here on CP most the time). Buying a car and need some you and wifey time? Hmmm Chyototakakunain? Or maybe the clerk is really freaking slow. Now I could say, "Dude hurry the EF up!" But that is quite rude. Instead I choose to insult him while speaking with wify... Maybe rude, but this way his mind can be creative and think I may be talking about the large butted women bending over. Which I also comment on :-\ Just to be clear though, I would not do this if I was working. As a citizen it is my right to insult anyone anyway I see fit. If I want money from them, not such a good idea.

          Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

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          • D Dr Walt Fair PE

            That's really pretty sad. I'm also from Texas, but I speak English and Spanish fluently, having taught engineering courses and written engineering reports in Spanish and made a living as a translator. My mother was German and I was at one time fluent in German. I learned conversational Khmer and Vietnamese and Laotian, but now only remember some phrases and the names of the characters/letters. When I went to Indonesia, after 2 weeks, I taught the last day of class in Bahasa Indonesian. I also worked for a French company and learned to read that pretty well, although I never practiced enough to get the pronunciation correct. Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

            CQ de W5ALT

            Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software

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            Lost User
            wrote on last edited by
            #98

            Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:

            Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

            Didn't you read the whole post?... They speak 2! American-English and Texan! ;P

            Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

            N realJSOPR 2 Replies Last reply
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            • T thrakazog

              Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:

              Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

              Why should this be considered a bad thing? It's apparently keeping the translator business going. Most people have better things to do than learning to say "Where's the bathroom" 50 different ways.

              Kill some time, play my game Hop Cheops[^]

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              Dr Walt Fair PE
              wrote on last edited by
              #99

              What makes you think that "Where's the bathroom" is the only thing to say? There's usually a cure for those problems. Sounds like you may need some medical help! ;P

              CQ de W5ALT

              Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software

              T realJSOPR 2 Replies Last reply
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              • H hairy_hats

                ahmed zahmed wrote:

                First, she didn't say "I fire .45ACP" she said "I speak .45ACP".

                What's the difference? You are splitting hairs to try and justify using threatening language where none was justified.

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                TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                wrote on last edited by
                #100

                viaducting wrote:

                to try and justify using threatening language

                I'm not justifying anything. Just disagreeing with your characterization.

                If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
                You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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                • T Tom Deketelaere

                  We are talking about 3-4 languages, they speak 3 in Switzerland? Don't really know been a long long time since I went there so my memory is a bit fuzzy.

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                  Mel Padden
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #101

                  4 Official/Administrative languages; French, German, Italian and Rumansch. Factor in the near-ubiquity of English in Zurich and its environs, and the recent Swiss move to make it an administrative language (the ability to apply for a driving licence in English, etc.) and I think we have a winner.

                  Smokie, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. www.geticeberg.com http://melpadden.wordpress.com

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                  • D Dr Walt Fair PE

                    What makes you think that "Where's the bathroom" is the only thing to say? There's usually a cure for those problems. Sounds like you may need some medical help! ;P

                    CQ de W5ALT

                    Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software

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                    thrakazog
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #102

                    I wasn't thinking of it as the only thing. Merely a very important thing to know in foreign lands so I would assume the thing to be learned first. Most everything else can probably be handled by a series of grunts and pointing. Grunting and pointing to get across "where's the bathroom" may result in problems with law enforcement. ;P

                    Kill some time, play my game Hop Cheops[^]

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                    • R Rajesh R Subramanian

                      Wow, some morons are downvoting your rather polite post. :wtf:

                      "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

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                      NormDroid
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #103

                      He got a straight 5 votes from 17 in my last look, which reflects the views of the CP audience, John in this case was "Bang out of order", and sorry for the pun.

                      Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
                      Metro RSS

                      R realJSOPR 2 Replies Last reply
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                      • L Lost User

                        Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:

                        Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

                        Didn't you read the whole post?... They speak 2! American-English and Texan! ;P

                        Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

                        N Offline
                        N Offline
                        NormDroid
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #104

                        Texan :sigh:

                        Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
                        Metro RSS

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                        • N NormDroid

                          He got a straight 5 votes from 17 in my last look, which reflects the views of the CP audience, John in this case was "Bang out of order", and sorry for the pun.

                          Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
                          Metro RSS

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                          R Offline
                          Rajesh R Subramanian
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #105

                          There were a few low votes as well, but I think that the low votes were squashed by the spurious votes removing algorithm that Chris has put in place. :cool:

                          "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

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                          • H hairy_hats

                            I fail to see the humour in threatening someone with a weapon just for speaking another language.

                            N Offline
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                            NormDroid
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #106

                            Texas home of the big hats and small d*cks.

                            Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
                            Metro RSS

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                            • D Dr Walt Fair PE

                              That's really pretty sad. I'm also from Texas, but I speak English and Spanish fluently, having taught engineering courses and written engineering reports in Spanish and made a living as a translator. My mother was German and I was at one time fluent in German. I learned conversational Khmer and Vietnamese and Laotian, but now only remember some phrases and the names of the characters/letters. When I went to Indonesia, after 2 weeks, I taught the last day of class in Bahasa Indonesian. I also worked for a French company and learned to read that pretty well, although I never practiced enough to get the pronunciation correct. Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

                              CQ de W5ALT

                              Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software

                              realJSOPR Offline
                              realJSOPR Offline
                              realJSOP
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #107

                              Actually, I learned French. I chose NOT to learn Spanish.

                              Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:

                              Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

                              I'm bothered because they're in my freakin country, and I speak English. I'm not at all interested in being tolerant.

                              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                              A 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • D Dr Walt Fair PE

                                What makes you think that "Where's the bathroom" is the only thing to say? There's usually a cure for those problems. Sounds like you may need some medical help! ;P

                                CQ de W5ALT

                                Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software

                                realJSOPR Offline
                                realJSOPR Offline
                                realJSOP
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #108

                                Okay, you win. Another viable question is, "Where can I buy ammo?" Oh wait. If you're in a country that's NOT the United States, you probably can't buy ammo in the first place. Never mind...

                                ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • R Rajesh R Subramanian

                                  Wow, some morons are downvoting your rather polite post. :wtf:

                                  "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                                  realJSOPR Offline
                                  realJSOPR Offline
                                  realJSOP
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #109

                                  I don't see anything but 5's (17 when I looked).

                                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                  -----
                                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                  -----
                                  "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                  N R 2 Replies Last reply
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                                  • N NormDroid

                                    He got a straight 5 votes from 17 in my last look, which reflects the views of the CP audience, John in this case was "Bang out of order", and sorry for the pun.

                                    Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
                                    Metro RSS

                                    realJSOPR Offline
                                    realJSOPR Offline
                                    realJSOP
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #110

                                    I don't live to satisfy others or to make them feel good about themselves. If I happen to wind up satisfying them or making them feel good about themselves - or not, believe me, it wasn't intentional - it just happened to work out that way. I treat everyone with the same cynicism and distrust.

                                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                    -----
                                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                    -----
                                    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                      I don't see anything but 5's (17 when I looked).

                                      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                      -----
                                      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                      -----
                                      "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                      N Offline
                                      N Offline
                                      Nish Nishant
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #111

                                      John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                                      I don't see anything but 5's (17 when I looked).

                                      The new algorithm auto removes 1 votes if there are enough 5s. So for example : if you get 15 5s and 3 1s, the 3 1s are removed.

                                      Regards, Nish


                                      My technology blog: voidnish.wordpress.com

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • L Lost User

                                        Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:

                                        Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

                                        Didn't you read the whole post?... They speak 2! American-English and Texan! ;P

                                        Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

                                        realJSOPR Offline
                                        realJSOPR Offline
                                        realJSOP
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #112

                                        The only difference between English and Texan is that Texas, arguments usually end with farm animals in comprimising situations. Oh... wait...

                                        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                        -----
                                        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                        -----
                                        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                          I don't see anything but 5's (17 when I looked).

                                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                          -----
                                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                          -----
                                          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                          R Offline
                                          R Offline
                                          Rajesh R Subramanian
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #113

                                          Yeah, then you looked pretty late. I saw it when there were 5 votes, and at least two of them were low votes.

                                          "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

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