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My Wife is Funny

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  • D Dr Walt Fair PE

    What makes you think that "Where's the bathroom" is the only thing to say? There's usually a cure for those problems. Sounds like you may need some medical help! ;P

    CQ de W5ALT

    Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software

    T Offline
    T Offline
    thrakazog
    wrote on last edited by
    #102

    I wasn't thinking of it as the only thing. Merely a very important thing to know in foreign lands so I would assume the thing to be learned first. Most everything else can probably be handled by a series of grunts and pointing. Grunting and pointing to get across "where's the bathroom" may result in problems with law enforcement. ;P

    Kill some time, play my game Hop Cheops[^]

    D 1 Reply Last reply
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    • R Rajesh R Subramanian

      Wow, some morons are downvoting your rather polite post. :wtf:

      "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

      N Offline
      N Offline
      NormDroid
      wrote on last edited by
      #103

      He got a straight 5 votes from 17 in my last look, which reflects the views of the CP audience, John in this case was "Bang out of order", and sorry for the pun.

      Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
      Metro RSS

      R realJSOPR 2 Replies Last reply
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      • L Lost User

        Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:

        Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

        Didn't you read the whole post?... They speak 2! American-English and Texan! ;P

        Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

        N Offline
        N Offline
        NormDroid
        wrote on last edited by
        #104

        Texan :sigh:

        Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
        Metro RSS

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        • N NormDroid

          He got a straight 5 votes from 17 in my last look, which reflects the views of the CP audience, John in this case was "Bang out of order", and sorry for the pun.

          Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
          Metro RSS

          R Offline
          R Offline
          Rajesh R Subramanian
          wrote on last edited by
          #105

          There were a few low votes as well, but I think that the low votes were squashed by the spurious votes removing algorithm that Chris has put in place. :cool:

          "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

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          • H hairy_hats

            I fail to see the humour in threatening someone with a weapon just for speaking another language.

            N Offline
            N Offline
            NormDroid
            wrote on last edited by
            #106

            Texas home of the big hats and small d*cks.

            Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
            Metro RSS

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • D Dr Walt Fair PE

              That's really pretty sad. I'm also from Texas, but I speak English and Spanish fluently, having taught engineering courses and written engineering reports in Spanish and made a living as a translator. My mother was German and I was at one time fluent in German. I learned conversational Khmer and Vietnamese and Laotian, but now only remember some phrases and the names of the characters/letters. When I went to Indonesia, after 2 weeks, I taught the last day of class in Bahasa Indonesian. I also worked for a French company and learned to read that pretty well, although I never practiced enough to get the pronunciation correct. Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

              CQ de W5ALT

              Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software

              realJSOPR Offline
              realJSOPR Offline
              realJSOP
              wrote on last edited by
              #107

              Actually, I learned French. I chose NOT to learn Spanish.

              Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:

              Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

              I'm bothered because they're in my freakin country, and I speak English. I'm not at all interested in being tolerant.

              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

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              • D Dr Walt Fair PE

                What makes you think that "Where's the bathroom" is the only thing to say? There's usually a cure for those problems. Sounds like you may need some medical help! ;P

                CQ de W5ALT

                Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software

                realJSOPR Offline
                realJSOPR Offline
                realJSOP
                wrote on last edited by
                #108

                Okay, you win. Another viable question is, "Where can I buy ammo?" Oh wait. If you're in a country that's NOT the United States, you probably can't buy ammo in the first place. Never mind...

                ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                -----
                You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                -----
                "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • R Rajesh R Subramanian

                  Wow, some morons are downvoting your rather polite post. :wtf:

                  "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOPR Offline
                  realJSOP
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #109

                  I don't see anything but 5's (17 when I looked).

                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                  N R 2 Replies Last reply
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                  • realJSOPR realJSOP

                    I don't see anything but 5's (17 when I looked).

                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                    N Offline
                    N Offline
                    Nish Nishant
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #110

                    John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                    I don't see anything but 5's (17 when I looked).

                    The new algorithm auto removes 1 votes if there are enough 5s. So for example : if you get 15 5s and 3 1s, the 3 1s are removed.

                    Regards, Nish


                    My technology blog: voidnish.wordpress.com

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                    • N NormDroid

                      He got a straight 5 votes from 17 in my last look, which reflects the views of the CP audience, John in this case was "Bang out of order", and sorry for the pun.

                      Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
                      Metro RSS

                      realJSOPR Offline
                      realJSOPR Offline
                      realJSOP
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #111

                      I don't live to satisfy others or to make them feel good about themselves. If I happen to wind up satisfying them or making them feel good about themselves - or not, believe me, it wasn't intentional - it just happened to work out that way. I treat everyone with the same cynicism and distrust.

                      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                      -----
                      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                      -----
                      "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • L Lost User

                        Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:

                        Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

                        Didn't you read the whole post?... They speak 2! American-English and Texan! ;P

                        Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

                        realJSOPR Offline
                        realJSOPR Offline
                        realJSOP
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #112

                        The only difference between English and Texan is that Texas, arguments usually end with farm animals in comprimising situations. Oh... wait...

                        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                        -----
                        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • realJSOPR realJSOP

                          I don't see anything but 5's (17 when I looked).

                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                          R Offline
                          R Offline
                          Rajesh R Subramanian
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #113

                          Yeah, then you looked pretty late. I saw it when there were 5 votes, and at least two of them were low votes.

                          "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • realJSOPR realJSOP

                            Actually, I learned French. I chose NOT to learn Spanish.

                            Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:

                            Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

                            I'm bothered because they're in my freakin country, and I speak English. I'm not at all interested in being tolerant.

                            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                            A Offline
                            A Offline
                            Albert Holguin
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #114

                            John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                            they're in my freakin country

                            I'm sure native Americans would disagree, and Texas was also part of Mexico before it was part of the US. America is about tolerance, if you're intolerant, maybe you're the one that's wrong.

                            realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
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                            • M Mel Padden

                              Fair enough - I will recant. Although, strictly speaking he brought her into it so... they were both laughing in dystopian zeal at this gleeful haranguing of someone earning probably a tenth of what they earn, trying to help them out, so do you mind if I modify it by calling them both morally bereft sinkholes of the human spirit who should take a look at themselves in the mirror before this irate Paddy gets the next flight to Texas, with the express intention of fetching them both a clip about the ear and telling them to mind their manners? I mean, seriously. The problem with behaviour like this is that the people who are doing it always seem to think it's somehow justified by their own petty frustrations, people are out of work so why are these guys here, why should I have to listen to Spanish in my own store, and solipsistic twaddle like that. It behoves the rest of us to administer a forum-friendly slapinthefacewithawetfish, if you ask me. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/5267392.stm[^] Go forth ye fish-wielding vigilantes.

                              Smokie, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. www.geticeberg.com http://melpadden.wordpress.com

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                              A Offline
                              AspDotNetDev
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #115

                              Did you mother teach you to speak like that? She must have been well read!

                              Mel Padden wrote:

                              this irate Paddy

                              Or, well, red.

                              Somebody in an online forum wrote:

                              INTJs never really joke. They make a point. The joke is just a gift wrapper.

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • T thrakazog

                                I wasn't thinking of it as the only thing. Merely a very important thing to know in foreign lands so I would assume the thing to be learned first. Most everything else can probably be handled by a series of grunts and pointing. Grunting and pointing to get across "where's the bathroom" may result in problems with law enforcement. ;P

                                Kill some time, play my game Hop Cheops[^]

                                D Offline
                                D Offline
                                Dr Walt Fair PE
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #116

                                Silly me. I thought the most important thing to learn in a language was: "Two beers, please."

                                CQ de W5ALT

                                Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • A Albert Holguin

                                  John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                                  they're in my freakin country

                                  I'm sure native Americans would disagree, and Texas was also part of Mexico before it was part of the US. America is about tolerance, if you're intolerant, maybe you're the one that's wrong.

                                  realJSOPR Offline
                                  realJSOPR Offline
                                  realJSOP
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #117

                                  Albert Holguin wrote:

                                  I'm sure native Americans would disagree

                                  They can disagree all they want. I was born here, so that makes me an American, thus, *my* freakin' country.

                                  Albert Holguin wrote:

                                  and Texas was also part of Mexico before it was part of the US

                                  Yeah, and Mexico lost it in a fair fight. Touch nuts, and all that. If they want it back, they're gonna have to take it by force.

                                  Albert Holguin wrote:

                                  America is about tolerance

                                  No. America is about capitalism. Tolerance was introduced by the democrats, and is the bastard cousin of "poiitical correctness".

                                  Albert Holguin wrote:

                                  if you're intolerant, maybe you're the one that's wrong.

                                  And I'm almost never wrong. I thought I was wrong once, and then found out I was mistaken, so that's the only blemish on an otherwise perfect record.

                                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                  -----
                                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                  -----
                                  "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • F Fla_Golfr

                                    I had a college proffessor that could communicate in 7 different languages, from scandanavian, to Indian, to french, to vietnamese, etc. I was very envious cause I thought I could only communicate in one language, i.e., american english. Then my wife reminded me that I can communicate in two languages. UH? American English and Southern Redneck! ju-eat-yet? no-ju?

                                    S Offline
                                    S Offline
                                    Slacker007
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #118

                                    Nice sock puppet account you got here. 5 posts in 6 5 years.

                                    Just along for the ride. "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
                                    "No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011)

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                      We live in Texas. In the United States. One of the few countries that is not brave enough to specify a "national language". This weekend, we were in a furniture store being helped by a Hispanic guy. In the middle of our visit, one of the warehouse monkies came up to him and started a conversation about some furniture that we were inquiring about. The conversation was entirely in Spanish. This really irritated my wife, so she interrupted them. "My husband and I speak English and .45ACP. How would you like to proceed?" Looks like I'll be getting a new t-shirt soon. :)

                                      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                      -----
                                      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                      -----
                                      "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                      L Offline
                                      L Offline
                                      Lost User
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #119

                                      The amazing thing is that given the amazing level of ignorance that exists in your part of the world you still need to import labour to do menial tasks like carrying furniture. Go figure.

                                      W 1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • M Mel Padden

                                        Fair enough - I will recant. Although, strictly speaking he brought her into it so... they were both laughing in dystopian zeal at this gleeful haranguing of someone earning probably a tenth of what they earn, trying to help them out, so do you mind if I modify it by calling them both morally bereft sinkholes of the human spirit who should take a look at themselves in the mirror before this irate Paddy gets the next flight to Texas, with the express intention of fetching them both a clip about the ear and telling them to mind their manners? I mean, seriously. The problem with behaviour like this is that the people who are doing it always seem to think it's somehow justified by their own petty frustrations, people are out of work so why are these guys here, why should I have to listen to Spanish in my own store, and solipsistic twaddle like that. It behoves the rest of us to administer a forum-friendly slapinthefacewithawetfish, if you ask me. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/5267392.stm[^] Go forth ye fish-wielding vigilantes.

                                        Smokie, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. www.geticeberg.com http://melpadden.wordpress.com

                                        B Offline
                                        B Offline
                                        BillWoodruff
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #120

                                        "laughing in dystopian zeal at this gleeful haranguing" That was eloquence incarnate, Mel. Do you write fiction ? Would like to correspond with you if you are seriously pursuing creative writing. thanks, Bill "I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography." Steven Wright

                                        "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." Miss Piggy"

                                        M 1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • B BillWoodruff

                                          "laughing in dystopian zeal at this gleeful haranguing" That was eloquence incarnate, Mel. Do you write fiction ? Would like to correspond with you if you are seriously pursuing creative writing. thanks, Bill "I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography." Steven Wright

                                          "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." Miss Piggy"

                                          M Offline
                                          M Offline
                                          Mel Padden
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #121

                                          It's something I've genuinely considered from time to time, mostly because of comments like the one you just made. The sorry truth is that I've been much much too busy working, paying bills, falling in and out of love with a succession of winsome damsels, going from contract to contract, messing around in various musical endeavours, fartarsing around in general and being weak-minded enough to let life get in the way to seriously give it a stab. The thing is, it is probably the one thing I'm really good at. I'm a pretty good coder, a pretty good musician, but going on empirical evidence it is my language lobe that is strongest. So, (theatrical sigh) I kind of take out my literary frustrations in my online correspondence, emails and such. So I guess in a twisted way I'm just like our friend in Texas. Except I don't speak .45ACP. (Sound of palm hitting forehead). Email me if you will, I'd be interested in making contact. mel dot padden at gmail dot com

                                          Smokie, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. www.geticeberg.com http://melpadden.wordpress.com

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