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My Wife is Funny

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  • H hairy_hats

    I fail to see the humour in threatening someone with a weapon just for speaking another language.

    N Offline
    N Offline
    NormDroid
    wrote on last edited by
    #106

    Texas home of the big hats and small d*cks.

    Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
    Metro RSS

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    • D Dr Walt Fair PE

      That's really pretty sad. I'm also from Texas, but I speak English and Spanish fluently, having taught engineering courses and written engineering reports in Spanish and made a living as a translator. My mother was German and I was at one time fluent in German. I learned conversational Khmer and Vietnamese and Laotian, but now only remember some phrases and the names of the characters/letters. When I went to Indonesia, after 2 weeks, I taught the last day of class in Bahasa Indonesian. I also worked for a French company and learned to read that pretty well, although I never practiced enough to get the pronunciation correct. Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

      CQ de W5ALT

      Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software

      realJSOPR Offline
      realJSOPR Offline
      realJSOP
      wrote on last edited by
      #107

      Actually, I learned French. I chose NOT to learn Spanish.

      Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:

      Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

      I'm bothered because they're in my freakin country, and I speak English. I'm not at all interested in being tolerant.

      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
      -----
      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
      -----
      "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

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      • D Dr Walt Fair PE

        What makes you think that "Where's the bathroom" is the only thing to say? There's usually a cure for those problems. Sounds like you may need some medical help! ;P

        CQ de W5ALT

        Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software

        realJSOPR Offline
        realJSOPR Offline
        realJSOP
        wrote on last edited by
        #108

        Okay, you win. Another viable question is, "Where can I buy ammo?" Oh wait. If you're in a country that's NOT the United States, you probably can't buy ammo in the first place. Never mind...

        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
        -----
        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
        -----
        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • R Rajesh R Subramanian

          Wow, some morons are downvoting your rather polite post. :wtf:

          "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

          realJSOPR Offline
          realJSOPR Offline
          realJSOP
          wrote on last edited by
          #109

          I don't see anything but 5's (17 when I looked).

          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
          -----
          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

          N R 2 Replies Last reply
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          • N NormDroid

            He got a straight 5 votes from 17 in my last look, which reflects the views of the CP audience, John in this case was "Bang out of order", and sorry for the pun.

            Software Kinetics Wear a hard hat it's under construction
            Metro RSS

            realJSOPR Offline
            realJSOPR Offline
            realJSOP
            wrote on last edited by
            #110

            I don't live to satisfy others or to make them feel good about themselves. If I happen to wind up satisfying them or making them feel good about themselves - or not, believe me, it wasn't intentional - it just happened to work out that way. I treat everyone with the same cynicism and distrust.

            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
            -----
            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
            -----
            "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • realJSOPR realJSOP

              I don't see anything but 5's (17 when I looked).

              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
              -----
              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

              N Offline
              N Offline
              Nish Nishant
              wrote on last edited by
              #111

              John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

              I don't see anything but 5's (17 when I looked).

              The new algorithm auto removes 1 votes if there are enough 5s. So for example : if you get 15 5s and 3 1s, the 3 1s are removed.

              Regards, Nish


              My technology blog: voidnish.wordpress.com

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • L Lost User

                Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:

                Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

                Didn't you read the whole post?... They speak 2! American-English and Texan! ;P

                Computers have been intelligent for a long time now. It just so happens that the program writers are about as effective as a room full of monkeys trying to crank out a copy of Hamlet.

                realJSOPR Offline
                realJSOPR Offline
                realJSOP
                wrote on last edited by
                #112

                The only difference between English and Texan is that Texas, arguments usually end with farm animals in comprimising situations. Oh... wait...

                ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                -----
                You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                -----
                "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • realJSOPR realJSOP

                  I don't see anything but 5's (17 when I looked).

                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                  -----
                  "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Rajesh R Subramanian
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #113

                  Yeah, then you looked pretty late. I saw it when there were 5 votes, and at least two of them were low votes.

                  "Real men drive manual transmission" - Rajesh.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • realJSOPR realJSOP

                    Actually, I learned French. I chose NOT to learn Spanish.

                    Walt Fair, Jr. wrote:

                    Doesn't it bother you to be so limited as to speak only 1 language?

                    I'm bothered because they're in my freakin country, and I speak English. I'm not at all interested in being tolerant.

                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                    -----
                    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                    A Offline
                    A Offline
                    Albert Holguin
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #114

                    John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                    they're in my freakin country

                    I'm sure native Americans would disagree, and Texas was also part of Mexico before it was part of the US. America is about tolerance, if you're intolerant, maybe you're the one that's wrong.

                    realJSOPR 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • M Mel Padden

                      Fair enough - I will recant. Although, strictly speaking he brought her into it so... they were both laughing in dystopian zeal at this gleeful haranguing of someone earning probably a tenth of what they earn, trying to help them out, so do you mind if I modify it by calling them both morally bereft sinkholes of the human spirit who should take a look at themselves in the mirror before this irate Paddy gets the next flight to Texas, with the express intention of fetching them both a clip about the ear and telling them to mind their manners? I mean, seriously. The problem with behaviour like this is that the people who are doing it always seem to think it's somehow justified by their own petty frustrations, people are out of work so why are these guys here, why should I have to listen to Spanish in my own store, and solipsistic twaddle like that. It behoves the rest of us to administer a forum-friendly slapinthefacewithawetfish, if you ask me. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/5267392.stm[^] Go forth ye fish-wielding vigilantes.

                      Smokie, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. www.geticeberg.com http://melpadden.wordpress.com

                      A Offline
                      A Offline
                      AspDotNetDev
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #115

                      Did you mother teach you to speak like that? She must have been well read!

                      Mel Padden wrote:

                      this irate Paddy

                      Or, well, red.

                      Somebody in an online forum wrote:

                      INTJs never really joke. They make a point. The joke is just a gift wrapper.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • T thrakazog

                        I wasn't thinking of it as the only thing. Merely a very important thing to know in foreign lands so I would assume the thing to be learned first. Most everything else can probably be handled by a series of grunts and pointing. Grunting and pointing to get across "where's the bathroom" may result in problems with law enforcement. ;P

                        Kill some time, play my game Hop Cheops[^]

                        D Offline
                        D Offline
                        Dr Walt Fair PE
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #116

                        Silly me. I thought the most important thing to learn in a language was: "Two beers, please."

                        CQ de W5ALT

                        Walt Fair, Jr., P. E. Comport Computing Specializing in Technical Engineering Software

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • A Albert Holguin

                          John Simmons / outlaw programmer wrote:

                          they're in my freakin country

                          I'm sure native Americans would disagree, and Texas was also part of Mexico before it was part of the US. America is about tolerance, if you're intolerant, maybe you're the one that's wrong.

                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOPR Offline
                          realJSOP
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #117

                          Albert Holguin wrote:

                          I'm sure native Americans would disagree

                          They can disagree all they want. I was born here, so that makes me an American, thus, *my* freakin' country.

                          Albert Holguin wrote:

                          and Texas was also part of Mexico before it was part of the US

                          Yeah, and Mexico lost it in a fair fight. Touch nuts, and all that. If they want it back, they're gonna have to take it by force.

                          Albert Holguin wrote:

                          America is about tolerance

                          No. America is about capitalism. Tolerance was introduced by the democrats, and is the bastard cousin of "poiitical correctness".

                          Albert Holguin wrote:

                          if you're intolerant, maybe you're the one that's wrong.

                          And I'm almost never wrong. I thought I was wrong once, and then found out I was mistaken, so that's the only blemish on an otherwise perfect record.

                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                          -----
                          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • F Fla_Golfr

                            I had a college proffessor that could communicate in 7 different languages, from scandanavian, to Indian, to french, to vietnamese, etc. I was very envious cause I thought I could only communicate in one language, i.e., american english. Then my wife reminded me that I can communicate in two languages. UH? American English and Southern Redneck! ju-eat-yet? no-ju?

                            S Offline
                            S Offline
                            Slacker007
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #118

                            Nice sock puppet account you got here. 5 posts in 6 5 years.

                            Just along for the ride. "the meat from that butcher is just the dogs danglies, absolutely amazing cuts of beef." - DaveAuld (2011)
                            "No, that is just the earthly manifestation of the Great God Retardon." - Nagy Vilmos (2011)

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • realJSOPR realJSOP

                              We live in Texas. In the United States. One of the few countries that is not brave enough to specify a "national language". This weekend, we were in a furniture store being helped by a Hispanic guy. In the middle of our visit, one of the warehouse monkies came up to him and started a conversation about some furniture that we were inquiring about. The conversation was entirely in Spanish. This really irritated my wife, so she interrupted them. "My husband and I speak English and .45ACP. How would you like to proceed?" Looks like I'll be getting a new t-shirt soon. :)

                              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #119

                              The amazing thing is that given the amazing level of ignorance that exists in your part of the world you still need to import labour to do menial tasks like carrying furniture. Go figure.

                              W 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • M Mel Padden

                                Fair enough - I will recant. Although, strictly speaking he brought her into it so... they were both laughing in dystopian zeal at this gleeful haranguing of someone earning probably a tenth of what they earn, trying to help them out, so do you mind if I modify it by calling them both morally bereft sinkholes of the human spirit who should take a look at themselves in the mirror before this irate Paddy gets the next flight to Texas, with the express intention of fetching them both a clip about the ear and telling them to mind their manners? I mean, seriously. The problem with behaviour like this is that the people who are doing it always seem to think it's somehow justified by their own petty frustrations, people are out of work so why are these guys here, why should I have to listen to Spanish in my own store, and solipsistic twaddle like that. It behoves the rest of us to administer a forum-friendly slapinthefacewithawetfish, if you ask me. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/5267392.stm[^] Go forth ye fish-wielding vigilantes.

                                Smokie, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. www.geticeberg.com http://melpadden.wordpress.com

                                B Offline
                                B Offline
                                BillWoodruff
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #120

                                "laughing in dystopian zeal at this gleeful haranguing" That was eloquence incarnate, Mel. Do you write fiction ? Would like to correspond with you if you are seriously pursuing creative writing. thanks, Bill "I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography." Steven Wright

                                "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." Miss Piggy"

                                M 1 Reply Last reply
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                                • B BillWoodruff

                                  "laughing in dystopian zeal at this gleeful haranguing" That was eloquence incarnate, Mel. Do you write fiction ? Would like to correspond with you if you are seriously pursuing creative writing. thanks, Bill "I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography." Steven Wright

                                  "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." Miss Piggy"

                                  M Offline
                                  M Offline
                                  Mel Padden
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #121

                                  It's something I've genuinely considered from time to time, mostly because of comments like the one you just made. The sorry truth is that I've been much much too busy working, paying bills, falling in and out of love with a succession of winsome damsels, going from contract to contract, messing around in various musical endeavours, fartarsing around in general and being weak-minded enough to let life get in the way to seriously give it a stab. The thing is, it is probably the one thing I'm really good at. I'm a pretty good coder, a pretty good musician, but going on empirical evidence it is my language lobe that is strongest. So, (theatrical sigh) I kind of take out my literary frustrations in my online correspondence, emails and such. So I guess in a twisted way I'm just like our friend in Texas. Except I don't speak .45ACP. (Sound of palm hitting forehead). Email me if you will, I'd be interested in making contact. mel dot padden at gmail dot com

                                  Smokie, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules. www.geticeberg.com http://melpadden.wordpress.com

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • G GuyThiebaut

                                    As long as you exclude the UK from your definition of Europe. Most British people just speak English and Foreign - Foreign being shouting and speaking more slowly :laugh:

                                    Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential.(Winston Churchill)
                                    B Offline
                                    B Offline
                                    BobJanova
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #122

                                    Many Welsh and Gaelic Scots speak two languages, even without counting people with a foreign second language (it was compulsory in school up until very recently and most people still learn one).

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • T Tom Deketelaere

                                      Albert Holguin wrote:

                                      you know, most people in Europe speak 3-4 languages

                                      Hmmm not really. The french refuse to speak anything but French. The Germans might also speak English but not much. The Spaniards might also speak English. There really is only one country where we learn 3-4 languages and that's only half the country then. (Belgium, you know the one without a government ;P ) For the record I speak: Dutch, English, French and German.

                                      C Offline
                                      C Offline
                                      cptKoala
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #123

                                      Tom Deketelaere wrote:

                                      (Belgium, you know the one without a government ;-P )

                                      We still haven't got one? I stopped caring about 300 days ago...

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • realJSOPR realJSOP

                                        We live in Texas. In the United States. One of the few countries that is not brave enough to specify a "national language". This weekend, we were in a furniture store being helped by a Hispanic guy. In the middle of our visit, one of the warehouse monkies came up to him and started a conversation about some furniture that we were inquiring about. The conversation was entirely in Spanish. This really irritated my wife, so she interrupted them. "My husband and I speak English and .45ACP. How would you like to proceed?" Looks like I'll be getting a new t-shirt soon. :)

                                        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                        -----
                                        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                        -----
                                        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                        W Offline
                                        W Offline
                                        wizardzz
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #124

                                        I'll translate for you: "Careful, this is the Gringo that scared my wife at a garage sale!" "Oh, I have heard of him, he was the inspiration for Walker, Texas Ranger!" "Maybe we should pack up and move back home to be safe?" Both: "Hahahahaha" It's fun to learn just enough to be able to turn to your other and carry on a topical conversation when this happens. They will assume you know Spanish and stop.

                                        "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • L Lost User

                                          The amazing thing is that given the amazing level of ignorance that exists in your part of the world you still need to import labour to do menial tasks like carrying furniture. Go figure.

                                          W Offline
                                          W Offline
                                          wizardzz
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #125

                                          Ever experience rush hour traffic at a public housing complex?

                                          "I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours. " — Hunter S. Thompson My comedy.

                                          L 1 Reply Last reply
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