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  • D David Wulff

    I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


    David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

    I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

    Z Offline
    Z Offline
    Zyxil
    wrote on last edited by
    #3

    another of my favorites is: how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? two, but they have problems getting inside -John

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    • D David Wulff

      I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


      David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

      I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

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      R Offline
      Roger Wright
      wrote on last edited by
      #4

      How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Californians screw in hot tubs, not light bulbs. This Signature is Temporarily Out of Order

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      • Z Zyxil

        How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? i'll post the answer in about a half hour. -John

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        Zyxil
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        i gotta run, it being quitting time here on the east coast of the US... that and i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, so, without further ado,,, How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? the fish! big thanks go to david, who is the only one who even responded,, good night, i'll be here all week ;P -John

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        • R Roger Wright

          How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Californians screw in hot tubs, not light bulbs. This Signature is Temporarily Out of Order

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          S Offline
          Shog9 0
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          LOL! :-D

          Shog9

          Let me hear you / Make decisions / Without your television

          Join Team CodeProject

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          • D David Wulff

            I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


            David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

            I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

            M Offline
            M Offline
            Michael Dunn
            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch. :cool: --Mike-- Just released - RightClick-Encrypt v1.4 - Adds fast & easy file encryption to Explorer My really out-of-date homepage Sonork-100.19012 Acid_Helm

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            • Z Zyxil

              i gotta run, it being quitting time here on the east coast of the US... that and i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, so, without further ado,,, How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? the fish! big thanks go to david, who is the only one who even responded,, good night, i'll be here all week ;P -John

              S Offline
              S Offline
              Shog9 0
              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              The Fiiish? Where is that Fish? ;P

              Shog9

              Let me hear you / Make decisions / Without your television

              Join Team CodeProject

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • Z Zyxil

                i gotta run, it being quitting time here on the east coast of the US... that and i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, so, without further ado,,, How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? the fish! big thanks go to david, who is the only one who even responded,, good night, i'll be here all week ;P -John

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                David Wulff
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                John Morales wrote: the fish! That and just about everything else. My personal favourite is: "Two. One to pickle the giraffe and the other to eat the sink." There are endless possiblities. :-D


                David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

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                • S Simon Walton

                  How many homophobics does it take to change a lightbulb? None - they're all too busy making up gay jokes. Ok, so I forget the punchline, but you have to commend me for trying.

                  8

                  SIMON WALTON
                  SONORK ID 100.10024

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                  L Offline
                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  Simon Walton wrote: but you have to commend me for trying. :commend: Consider yourself commended.

                  Mike Mullikin :beer: You can't really dust for vomit. Nigel Tufnel - Spinal Tap

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                  • Z Zyxil

                    How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? i'll post the answer in about a half hour. -John

                    S Offline
                    S Offline
                    Simon Walton
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #11

                    How many homophobics does it take to change a lightbulb? None - they're all too busy making up gay jokes. Ok, so I forget the punchline, but you have to commend me for trying.

                    8

                    SIMON WALTON
                    SONORK ID 100.10024

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                    • D David Wulff

                      I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


                      David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                      I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

                      R Offline
                      R Offline
                      Richard Stringer
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? Can't be done. Its a hardware problem. Richard When we mean to build, We first survey the plot, then draw the model; And when we see the figure of the house, Then must we rate the cost of the execution. William Shakespeare (King Henry IV)

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                      • D David Wulff

                        I already know this one (or I should say "answers" :p) so I will not give it away yet, but to add to your list... How many Lutherans does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to screw in the new bulb and four to talk about how much they'll miss the old one. How many Zen masters does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and one not to change it. How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they have to do it while you are eating dinner. How many reference librarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, I'll have to check on that and get back to you. How many bluegrass musicians does it take to change a lightbulb? Four. One to change it and three to complain that it's electric. How many chiropractors does it take to change a lightbulb? One... but it takes him three visits. How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. How many men does it take to change a toilet-paper roll? Who knows; it's never happened.


                        David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                        I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

                        B Offline
                        B Offline
                        Barry Lapthorn
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #13

                        How many Oxbridge/Ivy League* graduates does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, and then they wait for the world to revolve around them...... * delete as applicable.... B.

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                        • Z Zyxil

                          i gotta run, it being quitting time here on the east coast of the US... that and i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, so, without further ado,,, How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? the fish! big thanks go to david, who is the only one who even responded,, good night, i'll be here all week ;P -John

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                          Olli
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #14

                          John Morales wrote: i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, LOL ! exactly what happened...... ;)

                          Olli I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.....
                          :suss: :rolleyes: :suss:

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                          • Z Zyxil

                            How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? i'll post the answer in about a half hour. -John

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                            L Offline
                            Lost User
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #15

                            How many M$ employess does it take to change a light bulb ? None, they define darkness as the new light. Would you like to meet my teddy bear ?

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                            • D David Wulff

                              John Morales wrote: the fish! That and just about everything else. My personal favourite is: "Two. One to pickle the giraffe and the other to eat the sink." There are endless possiblities. :-D


                              David Wulff http://www.davidwulff.co.uk

                              I'm not schizophrenic, are we.

                              B Offline
                              B Offline
                              benjymous
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #16

                              "Two - One to hold the step ladder, and the other to fill the bath with brightly coloured machine tools" is my favourite -- Help me! I'm turning into a grapefruit!

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                              • O Olli

                                John Morales wrote: i wanted to get the answer in before chris crashes the server, like he is warning will happen,,, LOL ! exactly what happened...... ;)

                                Olli I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.....
                                :suss: :rolleyes: :suss:

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                                C Offline
                                Chris Maunder
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #17

                                It wasn't me! It wasn't me! :D cheers, Chris Maunder

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                                • C Chris Maunder

                                  It wasn't me! It wasn't me! :D cheers, Chris Maunder

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                                  O Offline
                                  Olli
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #18

                                  Chris Maunder wrote: It wasn't me! It wasn't me! This is what I have said too......;);P

                                  Olli I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.....
                                  :suss: :rolleyes: :suss:

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