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Coming out of the closet

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  • S soap brain

    wizardzz wrote:

    Did you recently come out in your life, too? Or is this just a CP outing?

    I've told a few people in real life. Nobody in my family, though.

    wizardzz wrote:

    Also, where is your italicized quote in your profile from?

    Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths[^]

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    TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
    wrote on last edited by
    #101

    Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

    Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths[^]

    That's damned hilarious! I love this quote: "Either way, there will be anguish and sorrow at some unknown point." As well as the one in your profile. LMAO

    If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
    You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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    • S soap brain

      ahmed zahmed wrote:

      You want a medal or something?

      Well, that wasn't my aim, but I wouldn't say 'no'...

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      TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
      wrote on last edited by
      #102

      LOL. I didn't really think so. It saddens me though that you are made to feel the need to "announce" anything. It shouldn't be that way. One should be accepted and loved and cared about for who they are. I hope your life is happy as can be.

      If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
      You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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      • A AspDotNetDev

        No matter the outcome, there will be reason to rejoyce.

        Martin Fowler wrote:

        Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

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        TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
        wrote on last edited by
        #103

        AspDotNetDev wrote:

        rejoyce

        Snort! :laugh: :laugh: 5!

        If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
        You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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        • I Ian Shlasko

          Congratulations. I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that... Granted, I live in a very liberal area, so it's really a non-issue here.

          Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
          Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

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          Jorgen Andersson
          wrote on last edited by
          #104

          Ian Shlasko wrote:

          I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that

          Neither have I. But when my best friend came out of the closet, my response without any thought was: "I'm not going to stop making gay jokes just because of that", which in hindsight seems to have been the right answer. But you know what? I basically did stop telling them. They have to be really good to be worth telling nowadays. And gays knows all the jokes already.

          List of common misconceptions

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          • S soap brain

            I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

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            Jorgen Andersson
            wrote on last edited by
            #105

            I have a couple of friends that are gay, and their experience was that it's worse to tell people the closer they are. But keep in mind that the friends that doesn't accept it, aren't worth having as friends! Family is worse, but if they love you they will accept it. When my best friend finally scraped together enough guts to tell his family, his father told him: We've known for years son, I'm happy you have found yourself.

            List of common misconceptions

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            • S soap brain

              I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

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              CalvinHobbies
              wrote on last edited by
              #106

              with all respect bud, you are Ravel, gay or straight. that's all that matters. it's you for you. how's things where you are? :) (pours you some coffee).

              ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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              • L Lost User

                ahmed zahmed wrote:

                Why should his being gay matter?

                It does.

                ahmed zahmed wrote:

                To anyone

                To the person concerned.

                ahmed zahmed wrote:

                It's a private matter that is his business. He should be treated any differently than anyone else.

                I agree, thats why he is coming out, so he can be treated fairly by himself.

                ============================== Nothing to say.

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                CalvinHobbies
                wrote on last edited by
                #107

                Fat__Eric wrote:

                ahmed zahmed wrote:

                Why should his being gay matter?

                It does.

                ahmed zahmed wrote:

                To anyone

                To the person concerned.

                ahmed zahmed wrote:

                It's a private matter that is his business. He should be treated any differently
                than anyone else.

                I agree, thats why he is coming out, so he can be treated fairly by himself.

                I can't speak for anyone else except me and my "circle of friends" on this topic. "why does it matter", as he's still the Ravel we know. It's not like he turned into a incrediable hulk or said he was concervative right winger. we look at him for "him". For Ravel though it's a big deal as he can be open about it and feel like he doesn't need to "hide". and don't say hetros aren't open about theirs as I've seen "tail" waggings. and people do try to hide "themselves" as lets face it, the human race is a bunch idiots and chastise anything and everything that's different, so can make things hard. I congratulate Ravel in his openness and able to take his "breath" but also letting him know, he's still a good bud to chat with and I think him non the different.

                ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                • S soap brain

                  ahmed zahmed wrote:

                  Why should his being gay matter? To anyone. It's a private matter that is his business. He shouldn't be treated any differently than anyone else.

                  Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society, I can see the utility in not surrendering and hiding away out of sight. Ideally, yes, it shouldn't matter. But it does.

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                  jschell
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #108

                  Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                  Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society

                  ...in societies.

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                  • D Dalek Dave

                    Thanks for that, it makes no difference to anyone here you know. But, firstly, I know it can be difficult to admit it at first, (I have gay and Lesbian friends who had terrible trouble admitting it), so well done. Secondly, unless people are living in the middle ages (or the 1950's or Croydon), it is of little matter. I am a Fat, Middle-aged, Conservative Man with a nasty drug habit (Smoke, Drink and Eat Cheese), it is who I am. Your sexuality is your own concern. Whatever, young dude, just be yourself and don't go screaming queen on us. (Even amongst my Gay friends, they dislike Screaming Queens). So long as whatever you do is legal, consensual and nobody is hurt, who gives a tinker's cuss?

                    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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                    jschell
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #109

                    Dalek Dave wrote:

                    Secondly, unless people are living in the middle ages (or the 1950's or Croydon), it is of little matter.

                    It certainly matters quite a deal in a significant and perhaps majority of the world. Some of the more 'civilized' places at least provide the facade of making it illegal rather than just leaving one to the mob. There are some countries where it seems more acceptable and accepted but certainly in the US there are large numbers of people who react negatively and some times in extreme ways to it. The only bright spot there is that it appears that those numbers are shrinking.

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                    • D Dalek Dave

                      Political, have you tried telling your mother? Diplomacy is required. Although when my friend Biggles came out, he stood in the pub and said "I just need to clear the air and let you all know that I am gay". We all stood, shocked. Shocked that he felt he had to tell us, we all knew.

                      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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                      CalvinHobbies
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #110

                      my Cousin was slowly "coming out" to family, hadn't told me yet ( course wasn't hard to tell, and I know a lot of people). he was suppose to give me a ride, but he wanted to go out to the club, made him nervous that I wanted to go as well ( my favorite pub was near where he was going, I just didn't say that part). turned whiter when I said "yah, I'l even come in for a few beers" (I really need to learn about mentioning details quicker). :-\

                      ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                      • D Dalek Dave

                        Bi - No probs Dim - we all are from time to time. Offensive - Regularly, like me. Wrong - Wait a moment...

                        Fat__Eric wrote:

                        I am actually English, though I prefer the French

                        See, Wrong! And it is also a choice. :)

                        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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                        C Offline
                        CalvinHobbies
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #111

                        Dalek Dave wrote:

                        Fat__Eric wrote:

                        I am actually English, though I prefer the French

                        See, Wrong!
                         
                        And it is also a choice. :)

                        likes his cake and eats it too. ( if this was inoprop, let me know / block it, I'm sorry, they started it. )

                        ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                        • S soap brain

                          digital man wrote:

                          and?

                          I'm an atheist. ;P

                          digital man wrote:

                          p.s. No future Ravels?

                          Well, that remains to be seen.

                          C Offline
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                          CalvinHobbies
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #112

                          Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                          digital man wrote:

                          and?

                          I'm an atheist. ;-P

                          atheist? that's it get out... ( joking, )

                          Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                          digital man wrote:

                          p.s. No future Ravels?

                          Well, that remains to be seen.

                          who knows, you may even adopt. not like kids are a big deal, some are for them, some aren't.

                          ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                          • L Lost User

                            "The Lounge is a place where you can discuss anything that takes your fancy." It is for people to talk about things that are going on in their life. Ravel obviously feels the need to tells us this as part of accepting who he is. The least you can do is offer a bit of support for what is a difficult but important statement.

                            ============================== Nothing to say.

                            realJSOPR Offline
                            realJSOPR Offline
                            realJSOP
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #113

                            As my friends in the UK are fond of saying - Bollocks!

                            ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                            -----
                            "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • F fjdiewornncalwe

                              No, it was rude.

                              I wasn't, now I am, then I won't be anymore.

                              realJSOPR Offline
                              realJSOPR Offline
                              realJSOP
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #114

                              Noooo... I'M the rude one (and I haven't decided yet if I'm going to be, but I'm leaning toward it).

                              ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                              -----
                              "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • I Ian Shlasko

                                Congratulations. I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that... Granted, I live in a very liberal area, so it's really a non-issue here.

                                Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                                Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

                                realJSOPR Offline
                                realJSOPR Offline
                                realJSOP
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #115

                                Ian Shlasko wrote:

                                I live in a very liberal area

                                I don't...

                                Ian Shlasko wrote:

                                I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that...

                                We have pamphlets down here in Texas. I can send you one (although if you're a liberal, it may offend you).

                                ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                -----
                                "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • S soap brain

                                  I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

                                  realJSOPR Offline
                                  realJSOPR Offline
                                  realJSOP
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #116

                                  After reading all of the congratulatory rhetoric, I'm going to step up and be the person everyone expects me to be. Why do you people feel the need to announce your abhorrent proclivities on a programming forum? After all, we straight folks don't announce it or throw it in anyone else's faces. If you think you're gay, hey - that's okay with me, but I don't think it's necessary to tell me about it (you should have posted this in the soapbox where I rarely go if you didn't want my opinion on the matter). I think it's a freakish lifestyle, and I really don't want to hear about it. I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear (and I'll probably get 1-bombed for being honest), but "damn the torpedoes...", and all that.

                                  ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                  -----
                                  You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                  -----
                                  "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

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                                  • C CalvinHobbies

                                    Fat__Eric wrote:

                                    ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                    Why should his being gay matter?

                                    It does.

                                    ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                    To anyone

                                    To the person concerned.

                                    ahmed zahmed wrote:

                                    It's a private matter that is his business. He should be treated any differently
                                    than anyone else.

                                    I agree, thats why he is coming out, so he can be treated fairly by himself.

                                    I can't speak for anyone else except me and my "circle of friends" on this topic. "why does it matter", as he's still the Ravel we know. It's not like he turned into a incrediable hulk or said he was concervative right winger. we look at him for "him". For Ravel though it's a big deal as he can be open about it and feel like he doesn't need to "hide". and don't say hetros aren't open about theirs as I've seen "tail" waggings. and people do try to hide "themselves" as lets face it, the human race is a bunch idiots and chastise anything and everything that's different, so can make things hard. I congratulate Ravel in his openness and able to take his "breath" but also letting him know, he's still a good bud to chat with and I think him non the different.

                                    ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

                                    T Offline
                                    T Offline
                                    TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #117

                                    Thanks for making my point.

                                    If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
                                    You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

                                    C 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • T TheGreatAndPowerfulOz

                                      Thanks for making my point.

                                      If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
                                      You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

                                      C Offline
                                      C Offline
                                      CalvinHobbies
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #118

                                      well, it's not that you were "against" him. you weren't nor were you a bad man for it. You were just treating him the same guy as he ever was (least in my view). and like I said, some people aren't as open minded and would take issue or worse which is said thing. I however also support him, in his "coming out" and "moving along", as for some, it's a hard task. as for the topic itself, it's valid for the lounge just as much as JSOP's talk about guns and arsenal (and yes John, your arsenal does look big in those pants). ( pass around the coffee)... now if he said he was a PHP programmer, I'd bug him alot.

                                      ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                                      0
                                      • D Dalek Dave

                                        Bi - No probs Dim - we all are from time to time. Offensive - Regularly, like me. Wrong - Wait a moment...

                                        Fat__Eric wrote:

                                        I am actually English, though I prefer the French

                                        See, Wrong! And it is also a choice. :)

                                        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                                        C Offline
                                        C Offline
                                        CalvinHobbies
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #119

                                        Dalek Dave wrote:

                                        Fat__Eric wrote:

                                        I am actually English, though I prefer the French

                                        See, Wrong!
                                         
                                        And it is also a choice. :)

                                        He could have came out like this[^]

                                        ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                                        0
                                        • S soap brain

                                          I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

                                          J Offline
                                          J Offline
                                          JimmyRopes
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #120

                                          Who cares? :rolleyes:

                                          Simply Elegant Designs JimmyRopes Designs
                                          Think inside the box! ProActive Secure Systems
                                          I'm on-line therefore I am. JimmyRopes

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