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JOTD

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  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

    A Visual Basic programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a Visual Basic programmer," he replies. "I don't have sex....but a talking frog is pretty neat."

    You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

    M Offline
    M Offline
    Mark_Wallace
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    OriginalGriff wrote:

    A Visual Basic programmer...

    Anyone in particular?

    I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

    N C L 3 Replies Last reply
    0
    • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

      A Visual Basic programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a Visual Basic programmer," he replies. "I don't have sex....but a talking frog is pretty neat."

      You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

      D Offline
      D Offline
      Dalek Dave
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      OLD OLD OLD!!! Older than Henry Minute!

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

      N OriginalGriffO 2 Replies Last reply
      0
      • M Mark_Wallace

        OriginalGriff wrote:

        A Visual Basic programmer...

        Anyone in particular?

        I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

        N Offline
        N Offline
        NormDroid
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        Should be easy to isolate after all there can't be that many who use VB.

        All right, you guys, I got eight crates of Ipecac from Mort. All on my tab. Now, whoever goes the longest without puking gets the last piece of pie in the fridge.

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • M Mark_Wallace

          OriginalGriff wrote:

          A Visual Basic programmer...

          Anyone in particular?

          I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

          C Offline
          C Offline
          CPallini
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          Well, we've John Simmons... :laugh:

          If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
          This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
          [My articles]

          C 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

            A Visual Basic programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a Visual Basic programmer," he replies. "I don't have sex....but a talking frog is pretty neat."

            You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

            N Offline
            N Offline
            Nish Nishant
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            A talking frog I can digest. But a Visual Basic programmer! What is this? Some kind of sick perverted joke? :mad:

            Regards, Nish


            Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
            My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link

            I 1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • D Dalek Dave

              OLD OLD OLD!!! Older than Henry Minute!

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

              N Offline
              N Offline
              Nish Nishant
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              Dalek Dave wrote:

              Older than Henry Minute!

              :laugh:

              Regards, Nish


              Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
              My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • D Dalek Dave

                OLD OLD OLD!!! Older than Henry Minute!

                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

                OriginalGriffO Offline
                OriginalGriffO Offline
                OriginalGriff
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                I know it's old - but the lounge was a bit "tumble-weed" this morning and I was bored!

                You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

                "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                1 Reply Last reply
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                • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                  A Visual Basic programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a Visual Basic programmer," he replies. "I don't have sex....but a talking frog is pretty neat."

                  You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

                  N Offline
                  N Offline
                  Nagy Vilmos
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                  Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

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                  • N Nagy Vilmos

                    I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                    B Offline
                    B Offline
                    Bergholt Stuttley Johnson
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                    Can you... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ? ...

                    FTFY

                    Smile and the world smiles withyou, laugh and they think you are a nutter

                    N 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • C CPallini

                      Well, we've John Simmons... :laugh:

                      If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                      This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                      [My articles]

                      C Offline
                      C Offline
                      Corinna John
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

                      This statement is false.

                      C M 2 Replies Last reply
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                      • C Corinna John

                        Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

                        This statement is false.

                        C Offline
                        C Offline
                        CPallini
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        Wait. I'm extracting the hidden info... :-D

                        If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                        This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                        [My articles]

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • N Nagy Vilmos

                          I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                          R Offline
                          R Offline
                          Rage
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          Really ? Really really really ? How could someone like you fall in that trap ?

                          N 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • B Bergholt Stuttley Johnson

                            Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                            Can you... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ? ...

                            FTFY

                            Smile and the world smiles withyou, laugh and they think you are a nutter

                            N Offline
                            N Offline
                            Nagy Vilmos
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #14

                            Designed and implimented a retail banking system in VB a few years back currently work on a trading platform with a lot of VB front end components. So yes, I can write VB, but I prefer Java or C# poking an eye out with a shitty stick [ftfms].


                            Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                            R I 2 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • R Rage

                              Really ? Really really really ? How could someone like you fall in that trap ?

                              N Offline
                              N Offline
                              Nagy Vilmos
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #15

                              MONEY!


                              Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                              R 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • N Nagy Vilmos

                                MONEY!


                                Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                R Offline
                                R Offline
                                Rage
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #16

                                As Georges woudl have said: what else ? :rolleyes:

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • N Nagy Vilmos

                                  I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                                  Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                  P Offline
                                  P Offline
                                  peterchen
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #17

                                  Well, if you are forced to use VB, you can always do like this:

                                  Dim code;
                                  code = "#include <stdafx.h>" & vbCRLF & _
                                  "int main()" & vbCRLF & _
                                  "{" & vbCRLF & _
                                  " // ... " & vbCRLF & _
                                  "}" & vbCRLF

                                  ' TODO: RUN C Compiler

                                  Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                                  | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                                  C J 2 Replies Last reply
                                  0
                                  • N Nagy Vilmos

                                    I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                                    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                    L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    LittleYellowBird
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #18

                                    :omg: My sincere condolences! ;)

                                    Ali

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • C Corinna John

                                      Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

                                      This statement is false.

                                      M Offline
                                      M Offline
                                      Mark_Wallace
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #19

                                      Corinna John wrote:

                                      he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer".

                                      I think we need clarification on the direction of the dependency.

                                      I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                                      C 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • P peterchen

                                        Well, if you are forced to use VB, you can always do like this:

                                        Dim code;
                                        code = "#include <stdafx.h>" & vbCRLF & _
                                        "int main()" & vbCRLF & _
                                        "{" & vbCRLF & _
                                        " // ... " & vbCRLF & _
                                        "}" & vbCRLF

                                        ' TODO: RUN C Compiler

                                        Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                                        | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                                        C Offline
                                        C Offline
                                        CPallini
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #20

                                        Well, if I would able to understand VB syntax then I should say you know well VB syntax... :-D

                                        If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                                        This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                                        [My articles]

                                        P 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • N Nish Nishant

                                          A talking frog I can digest. But a Visual Basic programmer! What is this? Some kind of sick perverted joke? :mad:

                                          Regards, Nish


                                          Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
                                          My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link

                                          I Offline
                                          I Offline
                                          Ian Shlasko
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #21

                                          Nishant Sivakumar wrote:

                                          A talking frog I can digest.

                                          I dunno... Have you ever tried frog legs? I heard they're pretty nasty... Now imagine them talking to you on the way down.

                                          Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                                          Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)

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