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JOTD

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  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

    A Visual Basic programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a Visual Basic programmer," he replies. "I don't have sex....but a talking frog is pretty neat."

    You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

    N Offline
    N Offline
    Nagy Vilmos
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

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    • N Nagy Vilmos

      I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


      Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

      B Offline
      B Offline
      Bergholt Stuttley Johnson
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      Nagy Vilmos wrote:

      Can you... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ? ...

      FTFY

      Smile and the world smiles withyou, laugh and they think you are a nutter

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      • C CPallini

        Well, we've John Simmons... :laugh:

        If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
        This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
        [My articles]

        C Offline
        C Offline
        Corinna John
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

        This statement is false.

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        • C Corinna John

          Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

          This statement is false.

          C Offline
          C Offline
          CPallini
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          Wait. I'm extracting the hidden info... :-D

          If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
          This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
          [My articles]

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • N Nagy Vilmos

            I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


            Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

            R Offline
            R Offline
            Rage
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            Really ? Really really really ? How could someone like you fall in that trap ?

            N 1 Reply Last reply
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            • B Bergholt Stuttley Johnson

              Nagy Vilmos wrote:

              Can you... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ? ...

              FTFY

              Smile and the world smiles withyou, laugh and they think you are a nutter

              N Offline
              N Offline
              Nagy Vilmos
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              Designed and implimented a retail banking system in VB a few years back currently work on a trading platform with a lot of VB front end components. So yes, I can write VB, but I prefer Java or C# poking an eye out with a shitty stick [ftfms].


              Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

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              • R Rage

                Really ? Really really really ? How could someone like you fall in that trap ?

                N Offline
                N Offline
                Nagy Vilmos
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                MONEY!


                Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                R 1 Reply Last reply
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                • N Nagy Vilmos

                  MONEY!


                  Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Rage
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  As Georges woudl have said: what else ? :rolleyes:

                  1 Reply Last reply
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                  • N Nagy Vilmos

                    I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                    P Offline
                    P Offline
                    peterchen
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    Well, if you are forced to use VB, you can always do like this:

                    Dim code;
                    code = "#include <stdafx.h>" & vbCRLF & _
                    "int main()" & vbCRLF & _
                    "{" & vbCRLF & _
                    " // ... " & vbCRLF & _
                    "}" & vbCRLF

                    ' TODO: RUN C Compiler

                    Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                    | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                    C J 2 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • N Nagy Vilmos

                      I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                      Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                      L Offline
                      L Offline
                      LittleYellowBird
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      :omg: My sincere condolences! ;)

                      Ali

                      1 Reply Last reply
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                      • C Corinna John

                        Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

                        This statement is false.

                        M Offline
                        M Offline
                        Mark_Wallace
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        Corinna John wrote:

                        he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer".

                        I think we need clarification on the direction of the dependency.

                        I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

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                        0
                        • P peterchen

                          Well, if you are forced to use VB, you can always do like this:

                          Dim code;
                          code = "#include <stdafx.h>" & vbCRLF & _
                          "int main()" & vbCRLF & _
                          "{" & vbCRLF & _
                          " // ... " & vbCRLF & _
                          "}" & vbCRLF

                          ' TODO: RUN C Compiler

                          Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                          | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                          C Offline
                          C Offline
                          CPallini
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #20

                          Well, if I would able to understand VB syntax then I should say you know well VB syntax... :-D

                          If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                          This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                          [My articles]

                          P 1 Reply Last reply
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                          • N Nish Nishant

                            A talking frog I can digest. But a Visual Basic programmer! What is this? Some kind of sick perverted joke? :mad:

                            Regards, Nish


                            Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
                            My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link

                            I Offline
                            I Offline
                            Ian Shlasko
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #21

                            Nishant Sivakumar wrote:

                            A talking frog I can digest.

                            I dunno... Have you ever tried frog legs? I heard they're pretty nasty... Now imagine them talking to you on the way down.

                            Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                            Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • N Nagy Vilmos

                              Designed and implimented a retail banking system in VB a few years back currently work on a trading platform with a lot of VB front end components. So yes, I can write VB, but I prefer Java or C# poking an eye out with a shitty stick [ftfms].


                              Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                              R Offline
                              R Offline
                              Rage
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #22

                              Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                              retail banking system

                              Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                              trading platform

                              Yeah, now I understand. You're not doing VB for money. You're doing VB for a lot of money.

                              N 1 Reply Last reply
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                              • N Nagy Vilmos

                                Designed and implimented a retail banking system in VB a few years back currently work on a trading platform with a lot of VB front end components. So yes, I can write VB, but I prefer Java or C# poking an eye out with a shitty stick [ftfms].


                                Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                I Offline
                                I Offline
                                Ian Shlasko
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #23

                                Yep, lots of trading software written in VB... Funny thing... If I hadn't put VB6 on my resume, back when I graduated college, I never would have gotten the job that started my career on wall street... Started out maintaining and updating old VB6 and Excel VBA systems... Then, once I had proven myself, I rewrote most of it in C# :)

                                Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                                Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • P peterchen

                                  Well, if you are forced to use VB, you can always do like this:

                                  Dim code;
                                  code = "#include <stdafx.h>" & vbCRLF & _
                                  "int main()" & vbCRLF & _
                                  "{" & vbCRLF & _
                                  " // ... " & vbCRLF & _
                                  "}" & vbCRLF

                                  ' TODO: RUN C Compiler

                                  Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                                  | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                                  J Offline
                                  J Offline
                                  JustWorking
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #24

                                  peterchen wrote:

                                  Dim code;

                                  :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: First of all you didn't specify the data type wish is String

                                  Dim code as string

                                  Second in VB their is no ; at the end of the line like C#

                                  R N P 3 Replies Last reply
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                                  • R Rage

                                    Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                                    retail banking system

                                    Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                                    trading platform

                                    Yeah, now I understand. You're not doing VB for money. You're doing VB for a lot of money.

                                    N Offline
                                    N Offline
                                    Nagy Vilmos
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #25

                                    see, it pays to have low standards to exceed.


                                    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • J JustWorking

                                      peterchen wrote:

                                      Dim code;

                                      :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: First of all you didn't specify the data type wish is String

                                      Dim code as string

                                      Second in VB their is no ; at the end of the line like C#

                                      R Offline
                                      R Offline
                                      Rage
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #26

                                      Cpianism wrote:

                                      you didn't specify the data type

                                      which would result in it being a variant, hence perfectly valid code, AFAIK.

                                      Cpianism wrote:

                                      their is no ; at the end of the line

                                      I sometimes end my mail lines with a ; :)

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • M Mark_Wallace

                                        Corinna John wrote:

                                        he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer".

                                        I think we need clarification on the direction of the dependency.

                                        I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                                        C Offline
                                        C Offline
                                        Corinna John
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #27

                                        Many programmers use several languages. The favorite language at home, the project language at work, some horrible languages for maintenance, and - in the worst case - VB for a job that was better than staying unemployed. That means, you can be a programmer, but still be forced to use VB.

                                        This statement is false.

                                        M 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • J JustWorking

                                          peterchen wrote:

                                          Dim code;

                                          :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: First of all you didn't specify the data type wish is String

                                          Dim code as string

                                          Second in VB their is no ; at the end of the line like C#

                                          N Offline
                                          N Offline
                                          Nagy Vilmos
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #28

                                          Cpianism wrote:

                                          Second in VB their is no ; at the end of the line like C#

                                          You missed out there is no sarcasm in Lebanon.


                                          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                          L 1 Reply Last reply
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