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JOTD

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  • M Mark_Wallace

    OriginalGriff wrote:

    A Visual Basic programmer...

    Anyone in particular?

    I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

    C Offline
    C Offline
    CPallini
    wrote on last edited by
    #5

    Well, we've John Simmons... :laugh:

    If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
    This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
    [My articles]

    C 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

      A Visual Basic programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a Visual Basic programmer," he replies. "I don't have sex....but a talking frog is pretty neat."

      You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

      N Offline
      N Offline
      Nish Nishant
      wrote on last edited by
      #6

      A talking frog I can digest. But a Visual Basic programmer! What is this? Some kind of sick perverted joke? :mad:

      Regards, Nish


      Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
      My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link

      I 1 Reply Last reply
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      • D Dalek Dave

        OLD OLD OLD!!! Older than Henry Minute!

        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

        N Offline
        N Offline
        Nish Nishant
        wrote on last edited by
        #7

        Dalek Dave wrote:

        Older than Henry Minute!

        :laugh:

        Regards, Nish


        Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
        My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • D Dalek Dave

          OLD OLD OLD!!! Older than Henry Minute!

          ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

          OriginalGriffO Offline
          OriginalGriffO Offline
          OriginalGriff
          wrote on last edited by
          #8

          I know it's old - but the lounge was a bit "tumble-weed" this morning and I was bored!

          You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
          "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

            A Visual Basic programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a Visual Basic programmer," he replies. "I don't have sex....but a talking frog is pretty neat."

            You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

            N Offline
            N Offline
            Nagy Vilmos
            wrote on last edited by
            #9

            I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


            Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

            B R P L L 5 Replies Last reply
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            • N Nagy Vilmos

              I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


              Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

              B Offline
              B Offline
              Bergholt Stuttley Johnson
              wrote on last edited by
              #10

              Nagy Vilmos wrote:

              Can you... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ? ...

              FTFY

              Smile and the world smiles withyou, laugh and they think you are a nutter

              N 1 Reply Last reply
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              • C CPallini

                Well, we've John Simmons... :laugh:

                If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                [My articles]

                C Offline
                C Offline
                Corinna John
                wrote on last edited by
                #11

                Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

                This statement is false.

                C M 2 Replies Last reply
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                • C Corinna John

                  Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

                  This statement is false.

                  C Offline
                  C Offline
                  CPallini
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #12

                  Wait. I'm extracting the hidden info... :-D

                  If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                  This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                  [My articles]

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • N Nagy Vilmos

                    I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                    R Offline
                    R Offline
                    Rage
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #13

                    Really ? Really really really ? How could someone like you fall in that trap ?

                    N 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • B Bergholt Stuttley Johnson

                      Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                      Can you... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ? ...

                      FTFY

                      Smile and the world smiles withyou, laugh and they think you are a nutter

                      N Offline
                      N Offline
                      Nagy Vilmos
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #14

                      Designed and implimented a retail banking system in VB a few years back currently work on a trading platform with a lot of VB front end components. So yes, I can write VB, but I prefer Java or C# poking an eye out with a shitty stick [ftfms].


                      Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                      R I 2 Replies Last reply
                      0
                      • R Rage

                        Really ? Really really really ? How could someone like you fall in that trap ?

                        N Offline
                        N Offline
                        Nagy Vilmos
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #15

                        MONEY!


                        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                        R 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • N Nagy Vilmos

                          MONEY!


                          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                          R Offline
                          R Offline
                          Rage
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #16

                          As Georges woudl have said: what else ? :rolleyes:

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • N Nagy Vilmos

                            I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                            Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                            P Offline
                            P Offline
                            peterchen
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #17

                            Well, if you are forced to use VB, you can always do like this:

                            Dim code;
                            code = "#include <stdafx.h>" & vbCRLF & _
                            "int main()" & vbCRLF & _
                            "{" & vbCRLF & _
                            " // ... " & vbCRLF & _
                            "}" & vbCRLF

                            ' TODO: RUN C Compiler

                            Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                            | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                            C J 2 Replies Last reply
                            0
                            • N Nagy Vilmos

                              I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                              Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                              L Offline
                              L Offline
                              LittleYellowBird
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #18

                              :omg: My sincere condolences! ;)

                              Ali

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • C Corinna John

                                Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

                                This statement is false.

                                M Offline
                                M Offline
                                Mark_Wallace
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #19

                                Corinna John wrote:

                                he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer".

                                I think we need clarification on the direction of the dependency.

                                I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                                C 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • P peterchen

                                  Well, if you are forced to use VB, you can always do like this:

                                  Dim code;
                                  code = "#include <stdafx.h>" & vbCRLF & _
                                  "int main()" & vbCRLF & _
                                  "{" & vbCRLF & _
                                  " // ... " & vbCRLF & _
                                  "}" & vbCRLF

                                  ' TODO: RUN C Compiler

                                  Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                                  | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                                  C Offline
                                  C Offline
                                  CPallini
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #20

                                  Well, if I would able to understand VB syntax then I should say you know well VB syntax... :-D

                                  If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                                  This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                                  [My articles]

                                  P 1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • N Nish Nishant

                                    A talking frog I can digest. But a Visual Basic programmer! What is this? Some kind of sick perverted joke? :mad:

                                    Regards, Nish


                                    Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
                                    My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link

                                    I Offline
                                    I Offline
                                    Ian Shlasko
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #21

                                    Nishant Sivakumar wrote:

                                    A talking frog I can digest.

                                    I dunno... Have you ever tried frog legs? I heard they're pretty nasty... Now imagine them talking to you on the way down.

                                    Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                                    Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • N Nagy Vilmos

                                      Designed and implimented a retail banking system in VB a few years back currently work on a trading platform with a lot of VB front end components. So yes, I can write VB, but I prefer Java or C# poking an eye out with a shitty stick [ftfms].


                                      Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                      R Offline
                                      R Offline
                                      Rage
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #22

                                      Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                                      retail banking system

                                      Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                                      trading platform

                                      Yeah, now I understand. You're not doing VB for money. You're doing VB for a lot of money.

                                      N 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • N Nagy Vilmos

                                        Designed and implimented a retail banking system in VB a few years back currently work on a trading platform with a lot of VB front end components. So yes, I can write VB, but I prefer Java or C# poking an eye out with a shitty stick [ftfms].


                                        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                        I Offline
                                        I Offline
                                        Ian Shlasko
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #23

                                        Yep, lots of trading software written in VB... Funny thing... If I hadn't put VB6 on my resume, back when I graduated college, I never would have gotten the job that started my career on wall street... Started out maintaining and updating old VB6 and Excel VBA systems... Then, once I had proven myself, I rewrote most of it in C# :)

                                        Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                                        Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • P peterchen

                                          Well, if you are forced to use VB, you can always do like this:

                                          Dim code;
                                          code = "#include <stdafx.h>" & vbCRLF & _
                                          "int main()" & vbCRLF & _
                                          "{" & vbCRLF & _
                                          " // ... " & vbCRLF & _
                                          "}" & vbCRLF

                                          ' TODO: RUN C Compiler

                                          Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                                          | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                                          J Offline
                                          J Offline
                                          JustWorking
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #24

                                          peterchen wrote:

                                          Dim code;

                                          :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: First of all you didn't specify the data type wish is String

                                          Dim code as string

                                          Second in VB their is no ; at the end of the line like C#

                                          R N P 3 Replies Last reply
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