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JOTD

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

    A Visual Basic programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a Visual Basic programmer," he replies. "I don't have sex....but a talking frog is pretty neat."

    You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

    D Offline
    D Offline
    Dalek Dave
    wrote on last edited by
    #3

    OLD OLD OLD!!! Older than Henry Minute!

    ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

    N OriginalGriffO 2 Replies Last reply
    0
    • M Mark_Wallace

      OriginalGriff wrote:

      A Visual Basic programmer...

      Anyone in particular?

      I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

      N Offline
      N Offline
      NormDroid
      wrote on last edited by
      #4

      Should be easy to isolate after all there can't be that many who use VB.

      All right, you guys, I got eight crates of Ipecac from Mort. All on my tab. Now, whoever goes the longest without puking gets the last piece of pie in the fridge.

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • M Mark_Wallace

        OriginalGriff wrote:

        A Visual Basic programmer...

        Anyone in particular?

        I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

        C Offline
        C Offline
        CPallini
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        Well, we've John Simmons... :laugh:

        If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
        This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
        [My articles]

        C 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

          A Visual Basic programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a Visual Basic programmer," he replies. "I don't have sex....but a talking frog is pretty neat."

          You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

          N Offline
          N Offline
          Nish Nishant
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          A talking frog I can digest. But a Visual Basic programmer! What is this? Some kind of sick perverted joke? :mad:

          Regards, Nish


          Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
          My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link

          I 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • D Dalek Dave

            OLD OLD OLD!!! Older than Henry Minute!

            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

            N Offline
            N Offline
            Nish Nishant
            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            Dalek Dave wrote:

            Older than Henry Minute!

            :laugh:

            Regards, Nish


            Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
            My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • D Dalek Dave

              OLD OLD OLD!!! Older than Henry Minute!

              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriff
              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              I know it's old - but the lounge was a bit "tumble-weed" this morning and I was bored!

              You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

              "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
              "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                A Visual Basic programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a Visual Basic programmer," he replies. "I don't have sex....but a talking frog is pretty neat."

                You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

                N Offline
                N Offline
                Nagy Vilmos
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                B R P L L 5 Replies Last reply
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                • N Nagy Vilmos

                  I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                  Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                  B Offline
                  B Offline
                  Bergholt Stuttley Johnson
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                  Can you... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ? ...

                  FTFY

                  Smile and the world smiles withyou, laugh and they think you are a nutter

                  N 1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • C CPallini

                    Well, we've John Simmons... :laugh:

                    If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                    This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                    [My articles]

                    C Offline
                    C Offline
                    Corinna John
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #11

                    Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

                    This statement is false.

                    C M 2 Replies Last reply
                    0
                    • C Corinna John

                      Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

                      This statement is false.

                      C Offline
                      C Offline
                      CPallini
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      Wait. I'm extracting the hidden info... :-D

                      If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                      This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                      [My articles]

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • N Nagy Vilmos

                        I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                        R Offline
                        R Offline
                        Rage
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #13

                        Really ? Really really really ? How could someone like you fall in that trap ?

                        N 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • B Bergholt Stuttley Johnson

                          Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                          Can you... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ? ...

                          FTFY

                          Smile and the world smiles withyou, laugh and they think you are a nutter

                          N Offline
                          N Offline
                          Nagy Vilmos
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #14

                          Designed and implimented a retail banking system in VB a few years back currently work on a trading platform with a lot of VB front end components. So yes, I can write VB, but I prefer Java or C# poking an eye out with a shitty stick [ftfms].


                          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                          R I 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • R Rage

                            Really ? Really really really ? How could someone like you fall in that trap ?

                            N Offline
                            N Offline
                            Nagy Vilmos
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #15

                            MONEY!


                            Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                            R 1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • N Nagy Vilmos

                              MONEY!


                              Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                              R Offline
                              R Offline
                              Rage
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #16

                              As Georges woudl have said: what else ? :rolleyes:

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • N Nagy Vilmos

                                I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                                Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                P Offline
                                P Offline
                                peterchen
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #17

                                Well, if you are forced to use VB, you can always do like this:

                                Dim code;
                                code = "#include <stdafx.h>" & vbCRLF & _
                                "int main()" & vbCRLF & _
                                "{" & vbCRLF & _
                                " // ... " & vbCRLF & _
                                "}" & vbCRLF

                                ' TODO: RUN C Compiler

                                Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                                | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                                C J 2 Replies Last reply
                                0
                                • N Nagy Vilmos

                                  I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                                  Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                  L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  LittleYellowBird
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #18

                                  :omg: My sincere condolences! ;)

                                  Ali

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • C Corinna John

                                    Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

                                    This statement is false.

                                    M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    Mark_Wallace
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #19

                                    Corinna John wrote:

                                    he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer".

                                    I think we need clarification on the direction of the dependency.

                                    I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                                    C 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • P peterchen

                                      Well, if you are forced to use VB, you can always do like this:

                                      Dim code;
                                      code = "#include <stdafx.h>" & vbCRLF & _
                                      "int main()" & vbCRLF & _
                                      "{" & vbCRLF & _
                                      " // ... " & vbCRLF & _
                                      "}" & vbCRLF

                                      ' TODO: RUN C Compiler

                                      Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                                      | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                                      C Offline
                                      C Offline
                                      CPallini
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #20

                                      Well, if I would able to understand VB syntax then I should say you know well VB syntax... :-D

                                      If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                                      This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                                      [My articles]

                                      P 1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • N Nish Nishant

                                        A talking frog I can digest. But a Visual Basic programmer! What is this? Some kind of sick perverted joke? :mad:

                                        Regards, Nish


                                        Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
                                        My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link

                                        I Offline
                                        I Offline
                                        Ian Shlasko
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #21

                                        Nishant Sivakumar wrote:

                                        A talking frog I can digest.

                                        I dunno... Have you ever tried frog legs? I heard they're pretty nasty... Now imagine them talking to you on the way down.

                                        Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                                        Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • N Nagy Vilmos

                                          Designed and implimented a retail banking system in VB a few years back currently work on a trading platform with a lot of VB front end components. So yes, I can write VB, but I prefer Java or C# poking an eye out with a shitty stick [ftfms].


                                          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                          R Offline
                                          R Offline
                                          Rage
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #22

                                          Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                                          retail banking system

                                          Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                                          trading platform

                                          Yeah, now I understand. You're not doing VB for money. You're doing VB for a lot of money.

                                          N 1 Reply Last reply
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