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JOTD

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  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

    A Visual Basic programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a Visual Basic programmer," he replies. "I don't have sex....but a talking frog is pretty neat."

    You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

    N Offline
    N Offline
    Nish Nishant
    wrote on last edited by
    #6

    A talking frog I can digest. But a Visual Basic programmer! What is this? Some kind of sick perverted joke? :mad:

    Regards, Nish


    Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
    My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link

    I 1 Reply Last reply
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    • D Dalek Dave

      OLD OLD OLD!!! Older than Henry Minute!

      ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

      N Offline
      N Offline
      Nish Nishant
      wrote on last edited by
      #7

      Dalek Dave wrote:

      Older than Henry Minute!

      :laugh:

      Regards, Nish


      Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
      My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • D Dalek Dave

        OLD OLD OLD!!! Older than Henry Minute!

        ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave

        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriff
        wrote on last edited by
        #8

        I know it's old - but the lounge was a bit "tumble-weed" this morning and I was bored!

        You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

        "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
        "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

          A Visual Basic programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!". The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a Visual Basic programmer," he replies. "I don't have sex....but a talking frog is pretty neat."

          You should never use standby on an elephant. It always crashes when you lift the ears. - Mark Wallace C/C++ (I dont see a huge difference between them, and the 'benefits' of C++ are questionable, who needs inheritance when you have copy and paste) - fat_boy

          N Offline
          N Offline
          Nagy Vilmos
          wrote on last edited by
          #9

          I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

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          • N Nagy Vilmos

            I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


            Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

            B Offline
            B Offline
            Bergholt Stuttley Johnson
            wrote on last edited by
            #10

            Nagy Vilmos wrote:

            Can you... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ? ...

            FTFY

            Smile and the world smiles withyou, laugh and they think you are a nutter

            N 1 Reply Last reply
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            • C CPallini

              Well, we've John Simmons... :laugh:

              If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
              This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
              [My articles]

              C Offline
              C Offline
              Corinna John
              wrote on last edited by
              #11

              Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

              This statement is false.

              C M 2 Replies Last reply
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              • C Corinna John

                Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

                This statement is false.

                C Offline
                C Offline
                CPallini
                wrote on last edited by
                #12

                Wait. I'm extracting the hidden info... :-D

                If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                [My articles]

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • N Nagy Vilmos

                  I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                  Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                  R Offline
                  R Offline
                  Rage
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #13

                  Really ? Really really really ? How could someone like you fall in that trap ?

                  N 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • B Bergholt Stuttley Johnson

                    Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                    Can you... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ? ...

                    FTFY

                    Smile and the world smiles withyou, laugh and they think you are a nutter

                    N Offline
                    N Offline
                    Nagy Vilmos
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #14

                    Designed and implimented a retail banking system in VB a few years back currently work on a trading platform with a lot of VB front end components. So yes, I can write VB, but I prefer Java or C# poking an eye out with a shitty stick [ftfms].


                    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                    R I 2 Replies Last reply
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                    • R Rage

                      Really ? Really really really ? How could someone like you fall in that trap ?

                      N Offline
                      N Offline
                      Nagy Vilmos
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #15

                      MONEY!


                      Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                      R 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • N Nagy Vilmos

                        MONEY!


                        Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                        R Offline
                        R Offline
                        Rage
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #16

                        As Georges woudl have said: what else ? :rolleyes:

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • N Nagy Vilmos

                          I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                          P Offline
                          P Offline
                          peterchen
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #17

                          Well, if you are forced to use VB, you can always do like this:

                          Dim code;
                          code = "#include <stdafx.h>" & vbCRLF & _
                          "int main()" & vbCRLF & _
                          "{" & vbCRLF & _
                          " // ... " & vbCRLF & _
                          "}" & vbCRLF

                          ' TODO: RUN C Compiler

                          Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                          | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                          C J 2 Replies Last reply
                          0
                          • N Nagy Vilmos

                            I... ...write... ...code... ...in... ...VB... ... :sigh:


                            Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                            L Offline
                            L Offline
                            LittleYellowBird
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #18

                            :omg: My sincere condolences! ;)

                            Ali

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • C Corinna John

                              Well, maybe he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer". ;)

                              This statement is false.

                              M Offline
                              M Offline
                              Mark_Wallace
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #19

                              Corinna John wrote:

                              he uses VB and he is a programmer. But that doesn't mean he is a "VB programmer".

                              I think we need clarification on the direction of the dependency.

                              I wanna be a eunuchs developer! Pass me a bread knife!

                              C 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • P peterchen

                                Well, if you are forced to use VB, you can always do like this:

                                Dim code;
                                code = "#include <stdafx.h>" & vbCRLF & _
                                "int main()" & vbCRLF & _
                                "{" & vbCRLF & _
                                " // ... " & vbCRLF & _
                                "}" & vbCRLF

                                ' TODO: RUN C Compiler

                                Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                                | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                                C Offline
                                C Offline
                                CPallini
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #20

                                Well, if I would able to understand VB syntax then I should say you know well VB syntax... :-D

                                If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile.
                                This is going on my arrogant assumptions. You may have a superb reason why I'm completely wrong. -- Iain Clarke
                                [My articles]

                                P 1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • N Nish Nishant

                                  A talking frog I can digest. But a Visual Basic programmer! What is this? Some kind of sick perverted joke? :mad:

                                  Regards, Nish


                                  Nish’s thoughts on MFC, C++/CLI and .NET (my blog)
                                  My latest book : C++/CLI in Action / Amazon.com link

                                  I Offline
                                  I Offline
                                  Ian Shlasko
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #21

                                  Nishant Sivakumar wrote:

                                  A talking frog I can digest.

                                  I dunno... Have you ever tried frog legs? I heard they're pretty nasty... Now imagine them talking to you on the way down.

                                  Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                                  Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • N Nagy Vilmos

                                    Designed and implimented a retail banking system in VB a few years back currently work on a trading platform with a lot of VB front end components. So yes, I can write VB, but I prefer Java or C# poking an eye out with a shitty stick [ftfms].


                                    Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                    R Offline
                                    R Offline
                                    Rage
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #22

                                    Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                                    retail banking system

                                    Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                                    trading platform

                                    Yeah, now I understand. You're not doing VB for money. You're doing VB for a lot of money.

                                    N 1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • N Nagy Vilmos

                                      Designed and implimented a retail banking system in VB a few years back currently work on a trading platform with a lot of VB front end components. So yes, I can write VB, but I prefer Java or C# poking an eye out with a shitty stick [ftfms].


                                      Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                      I Offline
                                      I Offline
                                      Ian Shlasko
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #23

                                      Yep, lots of trading software written in VB... Funny thing... If I hadn't put VB6 on my resume, back when I graduated college, I never would have gotten the job that started my career on wall street... Started out maintaining and updating old VB6 and Excel VBA systems... Then, once I had proven myself, I rewrote most of it in C# :)

                                      Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                                      Author of Guardians of Xen (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novel)

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • P peterchen

                                        Well, if you are forced to use VB, you can always do like this:

                                        Dim code;
                                        code = "#include <stdafx.h>" & vbCRLF & _
                                        "int main()" & vbCRLF & _
                                        "{" & vbCRLF & _
                                        " // ... " & vbCRLF & _
                                        "}" & vbCRLF

                                        ' TODO: RUN C Compiler

                                        Agh! Reality! My Archnemesis![^]
                                        | FoldWithUs! | sighist | µLaunch - program launcher for server core and hyper-v server.

                                        J Offline
                                        J Offline
                                        JustWorking
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #24

                                        peterchen wrote:

                                        Dim code;

                                        :wtf: :wtf: :wtf: First of all you didn't specify the data type wish is String

                                        Dim code as string

                                        Second in VB their is no ; at the end of the line like C#

                                        R N P 3 Replies Last reply
                                        0
                                        • R Rage

                                          Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                                          retail banking system

                                          Nagy Vilmos wrote:

                                          trading platform

                                          Yeah, now I understand. You're not doing VB for money. You're doing VB for a lot of money.

                                          N Offline
                                          N Offline
                                          Nagy Vilmos
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #25

                                          see, it pays to have low standards to exceed.


                                          Panic, Chaos, Destruction. My work here is done. or "Drink. Get drunk. Fall over." - P O'H

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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