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World's Worst...

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  • W Offline
    W Offline
    wizardzz
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

    A OriginalGriffO C K W 36 Replies Last reply
    0
    • W wizardzz

      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

      A Offline
      A Offline
      Andy Brummer
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      Having trouble with that modem? Just unplug it from the wall... click...

      Curvature of the Mind now with 3D

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • W wizardzz

        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriffO Offline
        OriginalGriff
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        wizardzz wrote:

        No copy and pasted old jokes allowed

        Just what site do you think you are on? :laugh:

        Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water

        "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
        "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • W wizardzz

          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

          C Offline
          C Offline
          Chris Meech
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and while you wait in priority sequence, I can offer you some information on many of our other great products.

          Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

          W 1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • W wizardzz

            Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

            K Offline
            K Offline
            Keith Barrow
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Have You tried turning it on and back off again?

            Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
            -Or-
            A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • W wizardzz

              Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

              W Offline
              W Offline
              wizardzz
              wrote on last edited by
              #6

              Mosss! Mosss! Call for you!

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • W wizardzz

                Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                J Offline
                J Offline
                jeron1
                wrote on last edited by
                #7

                [barely itelligible Indian accent] "Hello, this is Richard how can I help you?" [/barely itelligible Indian accent]

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • W wizardzz

                  Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                  P Offline
                  P Offline
                  Pete OHanlon
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #8

                  Hi, all our operators are busy. Here's Richard from marketing instead...

                  *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                  "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                  CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • C Chris Meech

                    Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and while you wait in priority sequence, I can offer you some information on many of our other great products.

                    Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

                    W Offline
                    W Offline
                    wizardzz
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #9

                    Haha, I love that. "You know your ____ is up for renewal, are you interested in doing that now?"

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • W wizardzz

                      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                      P Offline
                      P Offline
                      Pete OHanlon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #10

                      If you'll hold the line for just 1 second, I'm busy typing your problem in to Code Project. It's OK, I've told them it's Urgntz, so we should have an answer real soon now.

                      *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                      "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                      CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • W wizardzz

                        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                        K Offline
                        K Offline
                        Karl Sanford
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #11

                        "It is company policy not to take action unless they submit the issue at least 3 times." [Also, woohoo!]

                        Be The Noise

                        C 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • W wizardzz

                          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                          P Offline
                          P Offline
                          Pete OHanlon
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #12

                          It's Apple madam. We aren't trained for things going wrong.

                          *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                          "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                          CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • W wizardzz

                            Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                            W Offline
                            W Offline
                            wizardzz
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #13

                            "That's actually a feature."

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • W wizardzz

                              Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                              S Offline
                              S Offline
                              S Houghtelin
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #14

                              Please hold until the next available support person is available... Hello, this is Kerpal how may I h....click... Your battery is low, please place your phone on the charger stand now.

                              It was broke, so I fixed it.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • W wizardzz

                                Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                K Offline
                                K Offline
                                Keith Barrow
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #15

                                "Your Licensed Software is not designed or intended for use in the design, construction, operation or maintenance of any nuclear facility, please have a pleasant meltdown Click. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

                                Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                                -Or-
                                A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • K Karl Sanford

                                  "It is company policy not to take action unless they submit the issue at least 3 times." [Also, woohoo!]

                                  Be The Noise

                                  C Offline
                                  C Offline
                                  Corporal Agarn
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #16

                                  We delete your email unless we have one from each of the last three days.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • W wizardzz

                                    Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                    P Offline
                                    P Offline
                                    Pete OHanlon
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Do we make that? Wow, it sounds great. I've gotta get one for the kids.

                                    *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                    "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                    CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • W wizardzz

                                      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                      P Offline
                                      P Offline
                                      Pete OHanlon
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #18

                                      Oh wow. You're the one who bought that. And to think, we just released it as a bet.

                                      *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                      "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                      CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • W wizardzz

                                        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                        P Offline
                                        P Offline
                                        Pete OHanlon
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #19

                                        Would you like fries with that?

                                        *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                        "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                        CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • W wizardzz

                                          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                          P Offline
                                          P Offline
                                          Pete OHanlon
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #20

                                          We can only fix it if you can tell me the number I'm thinking of.

                                          *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                          "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                          CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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