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World's Worst...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • W wizardzz

    Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

    OriginalGriffO Offline
    OriginalGriffO Offline
    OriginalGriff
    wrote on last edited by
    #3

    wizardzz wrote:

    No copy and pasted old jokes allowed

    Just what site do you think you are on? :laugh:

    Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water

    "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
    "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • W wizardzz

      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

      C Offline
      C Offline
      Chris Meech
      wrote on last edited by
      #4

      Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and while you wait in priority sequence, I can offer you some information on many of our other great products.

      Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

      W 1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • W wizardzz

        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

        K Offline
        K Offline
        Keith Barrow
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        Have You tried turning it on and back off again?

        Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
        -Or-
        A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

        1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • W wizardzz

          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

          W Offline
          W Offline
          wizardzz
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          Mosss! Mosss! Call for you!

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • W wizardzz

            Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

            J Offline
            J Offline
            jeron1
            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            [barely itelligible Indian accent] "Hello, this is Richard how can I help you?" [/barely itelligible Indian accent]

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • C Chris Meech

              Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and while you wait in priority sequence, I can offer you some information on many of our other great products.

              Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

              W Offline
              W Offline
              wizardzz
              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              Haha, I love that. "You know your ____ is up for renewal, are you interested in doing that now?"

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • W wizardzz

                Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                P Offline
                P Offline
                Pete OHanlon
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                Hi, all our operators are busy. Here's Richard from marketing instead...

                *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • W wizardzz

                  Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                  P Offline
                  P Offline
                  Pete OHanlon
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  If you'll hold the line for just 1 second, I'm busy typing your problem in to Code Project. It's OK, I've told them it's Urgntz, so we should have an answer real soon now.

                  *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                  "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                  CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • W wizardzz

                    Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                    K Offline
                    K Offline
                    Karl Sanford
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #11

                    "It is company policy not to take action unless they submit the issue at least 3 times." [Also, woohoo!]

                    Be The Noise

                    C 1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • W wizardzz

                      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                      P Offline
                      P Offline
                      Pete OHanlon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      It's Apple madam. We aren't trained for things going wrong.

                      *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                      "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                      CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • W wizardzz

                        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                        W Offline
                        W Offline
                        wizardzz
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #13

                        "That's actually a feature."

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • W wizardzz

                          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                          S Offline
                          S Offline
                          S Houghtelin
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #14

                          Please hold until the next available support person is available... Hello, this is Kerpal how may I h....click... Your battery is low, please place your phone on the charger stand now.

                          It was broke, so I fixed it.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • W wizardzz

                            Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                            K Offline
                            K Offline
                            Keith Barrow
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #15

                            "Your Licensed Software is not designed or intended for use in the design, construction, operation or maintenance of any nuclear facility, please have a pleasant meltdown Click. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

                            Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                            -Or-
                            A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • K Karl Sanford

                              "It is company policy not to take action unless they submit the issue at least 3 times." [Also, woohoo!]

                              Be The Noise

                              C Offline
                              C Offline
                              Corporal Agarn
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #16

                              We delete your email unless we have one from each of the last three days.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • W wizardzz

                                Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                P Offline
                                P Offline
                                Pete OHanlon
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #17

                                Do we make that? Wow, it sounds great. I've gotta get one for the kids.

                                *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • W wizardzz

                                  Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                  P Offline
                                  P Offline
                                  Pete OHanlon
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #18

                                  Oh wow. You're the one who bought that. And to think, we just released it as a bet.

                                  *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                  "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                  CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • W wizardzz

                                    Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                    P Offline
                                    P Offline
                                    Pete OHanlon
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #19

                                    Would you like fries with that?

                                    *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                    "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                    CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • W wizardzz

                                      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                      P Offline
                                      P Offline
                                      Pete OHanlon
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #20

                                      I'm sorry, but unless you can beat me in the challenge of doom, I'm not allowed to give you that information.

                                      *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                      "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                      CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • W wizardzz

                                        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                        P Offline
                                        P Offline
                                        Pete OHanlon
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #21

                                        We can only fix it if you can tell me the number I'm thinking of.

                                        *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                        "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                        CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • W wizardzz

                                          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                          P Offline
                                          P Offline
                                          Pete OHanlon
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #22

                                          My puppy died when I set fire to it. Will you be my friend?

                                          *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                          "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                          CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                          A 1 Reply Last reply
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