World's Worst...
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Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and while you wait in priority sequence, I can offer you some information on many of our other great products.
Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
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Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
Have You tried turning it on and back off again?
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^] -
Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
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Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
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Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and while you wait in priority sequence, I can offer you some information on many of our other great products.
Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]
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Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
Hi, all our operators are busy. Here's Richard from marketing instead...
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier
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Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
If you'll hold the line for just 1 second, I'm busy typing your problem in to Code Project. It's OK, I've told them it's Urgntz, so we should have an answer real soon now.
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier
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Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
"It is company policy not to take action unless they submit the issue at least 3 times." [Also, woohoo!]
Be The Noise
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Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
It's Apple madam. We aren't trained for things going wrong.
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier
-
Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
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Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
Please hold until the next available support person is available... Hello, this is Kerpal how may I h....click... Your battery is low, please place your phone on the charger stand now.
It was broke, so I fixed it.
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Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
"Your Licensed Software is not designed or intended for use in the design, construction, operation or maintenance of any nuclear facility, please have a pleasant meltdown Click. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
-Or-
A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^] -
"It is company policy not to take action unless they submit the issue at least 3 times." [Also, woohoo!]
Be The Noise
We delete your email unless we have one from each of the last three days.
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Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
Do we make that? Wow, it sounds great. I've gotta get one for the kids.
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier
-
Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
Oh wow. You're the one who bought that. And to think, we just released it as a bet.
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier
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Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
Would you like fries with that?
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier
-
Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
I'm sorry, but unless you can beat me in the challenge of doom, I'm not allowed to give you that information.
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier
-
Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
We can only fix it if you can tell me the number I'm thinking of.
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier
-
Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
My puppy died when I set fire to it. Will you be my friend?
*pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington
"Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos
CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier
-
Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]
(Inspired by one of Pete's above): We can only help you if you provide us with the following information: Name, Address, Credit Card Number, Credit Card Security Code, Bank Account and Credit Card PIN. [joke] Also, PO'H does seem to be full of ideas here, speaking from experience? [/joke]
Full-fledged Java/.NET lover, full-fledged PHP hater. Full-fledged Google/Microsoft lover, full-fledged Apple hater. Full-fledged Skype lover, full-fledged YM hater.