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World's Worst...

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • W wizardzz

    Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

    A Offline
    A Offline
    Andy Brummer
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    Having trouble with that modem? Just unplug it from the wall... click...

    Curvature of the Mind now with 3D

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • W wizardzz

      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

      OriginalGriffO Offline
      OriginalGriffO Offline
      OriginalGriff
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      wizardzz wrote:

      No copy and pasted old jokes allowed

      Just what site do you think you are on? :laugh:

      Ideological Purity is no substitute for being able to stick your thumb down a pipe to stop the water

      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
      "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

      1 Reply Last reply
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      • W wizardzz

        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

        C Offline
        C Offline
        Chris Meech
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and while you wait in priority sequence, I can offer you some information on many of our other great products.

        Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

        W 1 Reply Last reply
        0
        • W wizardzz

          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

          K Offline
          K Offline
          Keith Barrow
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          Have You tried turning it on and back off again?

          Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
          -Or-
          A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

          1 Reply Last reply
          0
          • W wizardzz

            Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

            W Offline
            W Offline
            wizardzz
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            Mosss! Mosss! Call for you!

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • W wizardzz

              Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

              J Offline
              J Offline
              jeron1
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              [barely itelligible Indian accent] "Hello, this is Richard how can I help you?" [/barely itelligible Indian accent]

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • C Chris Meech

                Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and while you wait in priority sequence, I can offer you some information on many of our other great products.

                Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

                W Offline
                W Offline
                wizardzz
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                Haha, I love that. "You know your ____ is up for renewal, are you interested in doing that now?"

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • W wizardzz

                  Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                  P Offline
                  P Offline
                  Pete OHanlon
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  Hi, all our operators are busy. Here's Richard from marketing instead...

                  *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                  "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                  CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • W wizardzz

                    Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                    P Offline
                    P Offline
                    Pete OHanlon
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    If you'll hold the line for just 1 second, I'm busy typing your problem in to Code Project. It's OK, I've told them it's Urgntz, so we should have an answer real soon now.

                    *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                    "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                    CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • W wizardzz

                      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                      K Offline
                      K Offline
                      Karl Sanford
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      "It is company policy not to take action unless they submit the issue at least 3 times." [Also, woohoo!]

                      Be The Noise

                      C 1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • W wizardzz

                        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                        P Offline
                        P Offline
                        Pete OHanlon
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        It's Apple madam. We aren't trained for things going wrong.

                        *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                        "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                        CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • W wizardzz

                          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                          W Offline
                          W Offline
                          wizardzz
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          "That's actually a feature."

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • W wizardzz

                            Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                            S Offline
                            S Offline
                            S Houghtelin
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #14

                            Please hold until the next available support person is available... Hello, this is Kerpal how may I h....click... Your battery is low, please place your phone on the charger stand now.

                            It was broke, so I fixed it.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • W wizardzz

                              Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                              K Offline
                              K Offline
                              Keith Barrow
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #15

                              "Your Licensed Software is not designed or intended for use in the design, construction, operation or maintenance of any nuclear facility, please have a pleasant meltdown Click. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

                              Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                              -Or-
                              A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • K Karl Sanford

                                "It is company policy not to take action unless they submit the issue at least 3 times." [Also, woohoo!]

                                Be The Noise

                                C Offline
                                C Offline
                                Corporal Agarn
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #16

                                We delete your email unless we have one from each of the last three days.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                0
                                • W wizardzz

                                  Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                  P Offline
                                  P Offline
                                  Pete OHanlon
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #17

                                  Do we make that? Wow, it sounds great. I've gotta get one for the kids.

                                  *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                  "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                  CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • W wizardzz

                                    Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                    P Offline
                                    P Offline
                                    Pete OHanlon
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #18

                                    Oh wow. You're the one who bought that. And to think, we just released it as a bet.

                                    *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                    "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                    CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    0
                                    • W wizardzz

                                      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                      P Offline
                                      P Offline
                                      Pete OHanlon
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #19

                                      Would you like fries with that?

                                      *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                      "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                      CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • W wizardzz

                                        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                        P Offline
                                        P Offline
                                        Pete OHanlon
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #20

                                        I'm sorry, but unless you can beat me in the challenge of doom, I'm not allowed to give you that information.

                                        *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                        "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                        CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • W wizardzz

                                          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                          P Offline
                                          P Offline
                                          Pete OHanlon
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #21

                                          We can only fix it if you can tell me the number I'm thinking of.

                                          *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                          "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                          CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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