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World's Worst...

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  • C Chris Meech

    Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and while you wait in priority sequence, I can offer you some information on many of our other great products.

    Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. [Yogi Berra] posting about Crystal Reports here is like discussing gay marriage on a catholic church’s website.[Nishant Sivakumar]

    W Offline
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    wizardzz
    wrote on last edited by
    #9

    Haha, I love that. "You know your ____ is up for renewal, are you interested in doing that now?"

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    • W wizardzz

      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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      Pete OHanlon
      wrote on last edited by
      #10

      If you'll hold the line for just 1 second, I'm busy typing your problem in to Code Project. It's OK, I've told them it's Urgntz, so we should have an answer real soon now.

      *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

      "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

      CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

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      • W wizardzz

        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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        K Offline
        Karl Sanford
        wrote on last edited by
        #11

        "It is company policy not to take action unless they submit the issue at least 3 times." [Also, woohoo!]

        Be The Noise

        C 1 Reply Last reply
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        • W wizardzz

          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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          Pete OHanlon
          wrote on last edited by
          #12

          It's Apple madam. We aren't trained for things going wrong.

          *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

          "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

          CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

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          • W wizardzz

            Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

            W Offline
            W Offline
            wizardzz
            wrote on last edited by
            #13

            "That's actually a feature."

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • W wizardzz

              Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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              S Offline
              S Houghtelin
              wrote on last edited by
              #14

              Please hold until the next available support person is available... Hello, this is Kerpal how may I h....click... Your battery is low, please place your phone on the charger stand now.

              It was broke, so I fixed it.

              1 Reply Last reply
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              • W wizardzz

                Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                K Offline
                K Offline
                Keith Barrow
                wrote on last edited by
                #15

                "Your Licensed Software is not designed or intended for use in the design, construction, operation or maintenance of any nuclear facility, please have a pleasant meltdown Click. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

                Sort of a cross between Lawrence of Arabia and Dilbert.[^]
                -Or-
                A Dead ringer for Kate Winslett[^]

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • K Karl Sanford

                  "It is company policy not to take action unless they submit the issue at least 3 times." [Also, woohoo!]

                  Be The Noise

                  C Offline
                  C Offline
                  Corporal Agarn
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #16

                  We delete your email unless we have one from each of the last three days.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  0
                  • W wizardzz

                    Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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                    P Offline
                    Pete OHanlon
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #17

                    Do we make that? Wow, it sounds great. I've gotta get one for the kids.

                    *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                    "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                    CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • W wizardzz

                      Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                      P Offline
                      P Offline
                      Pete OHanlon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #18

                      Oh wow. You're the one who bought that. And to think, we just released it as a bet.

                      *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                      "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                      CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • W wizardzz

                        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                        P Offline
                        P Offline
                        Pete OHanlon
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #19

                        Would you like fries with that?

                        *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                        "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                        CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • W wizardzz

                          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                          P Offline
                          P Offline
                          Pete OHanlon
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #20

                          We can only fix it if you can tell me the number I'm thinking of.

                          *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                          "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                          CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • W wizardzz

                            Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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                            Pete OHanlon
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #21

                            I'm sorry, but unless you can beat me in the challenge of doom, I'm not allowed to give you that information.

                            *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                            "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                            CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            0
                            • W wizardzz

                              Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                              P Offline
                              P Offline
                              Pete OHanlon
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #22

                              My puppy died when I set fire to it. Will you be my friend?

                              *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                              "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                              CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                              A 1 Reply Last reply
                              0
                              • W wizardzz

                                Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

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                                A Offline
                                Andrei Straut
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #23

                                (Inspired by one of Pete's above): We can only help you if you provide us with the following information: Name, Address, Credit Card Number, Credit Card Security Code, Bank Account and Credit Card PIN. [joke] Also, PO'H does seem to be full of ideas here, speaking from experience? [/joke]

                                Full-fledged Java/.NET lover, full-fledged PHP hater. Full-fledged Google/Microsoft lover, full-fledged Apple hater. Full-fledged Skype lover, full-fledged YM hater.

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                                • A Andrei Straut

                                  (Inspired by one of Pete's above): We can only help you if you provide us with the following information: Name, Address, Credit Card Number, Credit Card Security Code, Bank Account and Credit Card PIN. [joke] Also, PO'H does seem to be full of ideas here, speaking from experience? [/joke]

                                  Full-fledged Java/.NET lover, full-fledged PHP hater. Full-fledged Google/Microsoft lover, full-fledged Apple hater. Full-fledged Skype lover, full-fledged YM hater.

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                                  P Offline
                                  Pete OHanlon
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #24

                                  Actually, this one's too easy - I've not posted several others that I could have let rip with.

                                  *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                  "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                  CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  0
                                  • A Andrei Straut

                                    (Inspired by one of Pete's above): We can only help you if you provide us with the following information: Name, Address, Credit Card Number, Credit Card Security Code, Bank Account and Credit Card PIN. [joke] Also, PO'H does seem to be full of ideas here, speaking from experience? [/joke]

                                    Full-fledged Java/.NET lover, full-fledged PHP hater. Full-fledged Google/Microsoft lover, full-fledged Apple hater. Full-fledged Skype lover, full-fledged YM hater.

                                    P Offline
                                    P Offline
                                    Pete OHanlon
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #25

                                    Will you be my friend Andrei?

                                    *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                    "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                    CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                    A 1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • P Pete OHanlon

                                      Will you be my friend Andrei?

                                      *pre-emptive celebratory nipple tassle jiggle* - Sean Ewington

                                      "Mind bleach! Send me mind bleach!" - Nagy Vilmos

                                      CodeStash - Online Snippet Management | My blog | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier

                                      A Offline
                                      A Offline
                                      Andrei Straut
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #26

                                      Only if you provide me with the info stated above :)

                                      Full-fledged Java/.NET lover, full-fledged PHP hater. Full-fledged Google/Microsoft lover, full-fledged Apple hater. Full-fledged Skype lover, full-fledged YM hater.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      0
                                      • W wizardzz

                                        Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                        R Offline
                                        R Offline
                                        Rage
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #27

                                        * Insert more than famous classical music piece playing in loop *

                                        ~RaGE();

                                        I think words like 'destiny' are a way of trying to find order where none exists. - Christian Graus Do not feed the troll ! - Common proverb

                                        D 1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • W wizardzz

                                          Tech Support. Go ahead now, go on it with your one liners. No copy and pasted old jokes allowed. [Karl Sanford with the win from yesterday's 185 [^]. You win a particle. It's right here... Shit, no. Where is it now? Well, will you take a rain check?]

                                          S Offline
                                          S Offline
                                          S Houghtelin
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #28

                                          < backgroundMusic > ♫♪♫♪ आपकी कॉल हमारे लिए महत्वपूर्ण है! ♫♪♫♪ < /backgroundMusic >

                                          It was broke, so I fixed it.

                                          R 1 Reply Last reply
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