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I need a joke

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  • R rnbergren

    seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

    To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

    0 Offline
    0 Offline
    0x01AA
    wrote on last edited by
    #2

    knock knock who's there ;P

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    • R rnbergren

      seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

      To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

      S Offline
      S Offline
      Slacker007
      wrote on last edited by
      #3

      What is the name of a popular search engine that most answers to questions can be found with? for $100, Bob.

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      • R rnbergren

        seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

        To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

        F Offline
        F Offline
        fgs1963
        wrote on last edited by
        #4

        Q: How can you tell which one of your friends has the latest fancy smartphone? A: Don't worry, they'll let you know.

        R 1 Reply Last reply
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        • R rnbergren

          seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

          To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

          R Offline
          R Offline
          RickZeeland
          wrote on last edited by
          #5

          Why didn’t the skeleton have a mobile? He had no body to talk to!

          1 Reply Last reply
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          • R rnbergren

            seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

            To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriff
            wrote on last edited by
            #6

            "How can you tell when your sister is ..." no, no - wrong forum ... :-O

            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
            "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

            S 1 Reply Last reply
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            • R rnbergren

              seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

              To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriff
              wrote on last edited by
              #7

              A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for the WiFi password. The bar tender replies "You have to buy a drink first" So the man buys a beer. "Ok, so now what's the WiFi password?" The bartender replies "'You have to buy a drink first', all lower case, no spaces."

              "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

              "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
              "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

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              • R rnbergren

                seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                OriginalGriffO Offline
                OriginalGriffO Offline
                OriginalGriff
                wrote on last edited by
                #8

                Why is there no public WiFi in Germany? You're not allowed to ask for anyones SS ID ... Sorry to all Germans ...

                "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • R rnbergren

                  seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                  To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                  M Offline
                  M Offline
                  MarkTJohnson
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #9

                  You could make a TikTok video of your presentation.

                  I’ve given up trying to be calm. However, I am open to feeling slightly less agitated.

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                  • R rnbergren

                    seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                    To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    Lost User
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #10

                    All your data is ours.

                    "Before entering on an understanding, I have meditated for a long time, and have foreseen what might happen. It is not genius which reveals to me suddenly, secretly, what I have to say or to do in a circumstance unexpected by other people; it is reflection, it is meditation." - Napoleon I

                    M 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                      "How can you tell when your sister is ..." no, no - wrong forum ... :-O

                      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                      S Offline
                      S Offline
                      Single Step Debugger
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #11

                      ...carrying a child? She gets you a new phone for the Father's Day. :-D

                      Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                      OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • F fgs1963

                        Q: How can you tell which one of your friends has the latest fancy smartphone? A: Don't worry, they'll let you know.

                        R Offline
                        R Offline
                        rnbergren
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #12

                        winner. Thank you

                        To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

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                        • S Single Step Debugger

                          ...carrying a child? She gets you a new phone for the Father's Day. :-D

                          Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                          OriginalGriffO Offline
                          OriginalGriffO Offline
                          OriginalGriff
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #13

                          Erm ... no. That's one is both clean and tasteful in comparison. Don't try to guess, it'll only get us both banned.

                          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                          "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                          R 1 Reply Last reply
                          0
                          • R rnbergren

                            seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                            To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                            D Offline
                            D Offline
                            dandy72
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #14

                            rnbergren wrote:

                            Smart Phone security for the masses

                            Show up with a brick, and tell them if they're serious about security, that's the phone they should be carrying. Walk off stage. Presentation over.

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                            • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                              Erm ... no. That's one is both clean and tasteful in comparison. Don't try to guess, it'll only get us both banned.

                              "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                              R Offline
                              R Offline
                              rnbergren
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #15

                              and now I am curious.

                              To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

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                              • R rnbergren

                                seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                                To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                                R Offline
                                R Offline
                                RedDk
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #16

                                Q: How do you fix a broken tuba? A: With a "tuba glue."

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                                0
                                • R rnbergren

                                  seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                                  To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                                  B Offline
                                  B Offline
                                  BernardIE5317
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #17

                                  i have never given a public talk . i know nothing re/ same except what i see on the tellie . i am always surprised characters in various stories claim they need a joke to begin such . i vaguely recall a Big Bang Episode re/ same and only recently another such . i always thought it was stupid i.e. a kind of joke . anyway even if a good joke is found how does one sequei to the serious portion ? bada-bing bada-boom ? "I'm here all week . Don't forget to tip the waitresses ."

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                                  • L Lost User

                                    All your data is ours.

                                    "Before entering on an understanding, I have meditated for a long time, and have foreseen what might happen. It is not genius which reveals to me suddenly, secretly, what I have to say or to do in a circumstance unexpected by other people; it is reflection, it is meditation." - Napoleon I

                                    M Offline
                                    M Offline
                                    Mycroft Holmes
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #18

                                    Gerry Schmitz wrote:

                                    All your data is ours.

                                    And you think that is a joke!

                                    Never underestimate the power of human stupidity - RAH I'm old. I know stuff - JSOP

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