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I need a joke

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • R rnbergren

    seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

    To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

    OriginalGriffO Offline
    OriginalGriffO Offline
    OriginalGriff
    wrote on last edited by
    #7

    A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for the WiFi password. The bar tender replies "You have to buy a drink first" So the man buys a beer. "Ok, so now what's the WiFi password?" The bartender replies "'You have to buy a drink first', all lower case, no spaces."

    "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

    "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
    "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

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    • R rnbergren

      seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

      To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

      OriginalGriffO Offline
      OriginalGriffO Offline
      OriginalGriff
      wrote on last edited by
      #8

      Why is there no public WiFi in Germany? You're not allowed to ask for anyones SS ID ... Sorry to all Germans ...

      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

      "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
      "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • R rnbergren

        seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

        To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

        M Offline
        M Offline
        MarkTJohnson
        wrote on last edited by
        #9

        You could make a TikTok video of your presentation.

        I’ve given up trying to be calm. However, I am open to feeling slightly less agitated.

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        • R rnbergren

          seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

          To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

          L Offline
          L Offline
          Lost User
          wrote on last edited by
          #10

          All your data is ours.

          "Before entering on an understanding, I have meditated for a long time, and have foreseen what might happen. It is not genius which reveals to me suddenly, secretly, what I have to say or to do in a circumstance unexpected by other people; it is reflection, it is meditation." - Napoleon I

          M 1 Reply Last reply
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          • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

            "How can you tell when your sister is ..." no, no - wrong forum ... :-O

            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

            S Offline
            S Offline
            Single Step Debugger
            wrote on last edited by
            #11

            ...carrying a child? She gets you a new phone for the Father's Day. :-D

            Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

            OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
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            • F fgs1963

              Q: How can you tell which one of your friends has the latest fancy smartphone? A: Don't worry, they'll let you know.

              R Offline
              R Offline
              rnbergren
              wrote on last edited by
              #12

              winner. Thank you

              To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

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              • S Single Step Debugger

                ...carrying a child? She gets you a new phone for the Father's Day. :-D

                Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                OriginalGriffO Offline
                OriginalGriffO Offline
                OriginalGriff
                wrote on last edited by
                #13

                Erm ... no. That's one is both clean and tasteful in comparison. Don't try to guess, it'll only get us both banned.

                "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                R 1 Reply Last reply
                0
                • R rnbergren

                  seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                  To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                  D Offline
                  D Offline
                  dandy72
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #14

                  rnbergren wrote:

                  Smart Phone security for the masses

                  Show up with a brick, and tell them if they're serious about security, that's the phone they should be carrying. Walk off stage. Presentation over.

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                  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                    Erm ... no. That's one is both clean and tasteful in comparison. Don't try to guess, it'll only get us both banned.

                    "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                    R Offline
                    R Offline
                    rnbergren
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #15

                    and now I am curious.

                    To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

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                    • R rnbergren

                      seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                      To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                      R Offline
                      R Offline
                      RedDk
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #16

                      Q: How do you fix a broken tuba? A: With a "tuba glue."

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      0
                      • R rnbergren

                        seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                        To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                        B Offline
                        B Offline
                        BernardIE5317
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #17

                        i have never given a public talk . i know nothing re/ same except what i see on the tellie . i am always surprised characters in various stories claim they need a joke to begin such . i vaguely recall a Big Bang Episode re/ same and only recently another such . i always thought it was stupid i.e. a kind of joke . anyway even if a good joke is found how does one sequei to the serious portion ? bada-bing bada-boom ? "I'm here all week . Don't forget to tip the waitresses ."

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                        • L Lost User

                          All your data is ours.

                          "Before entering on an understanding, I have meditated for a long time, and have foreseen what might happen. It is not genius which reveals to me suddenly, secretly, what I have to say or to do in a circumstance unexpected by other people; it is reflection, it is meditation." - Napoleon I

                          M Offline
                          M Offline
                          Mycroft Holmes
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #18

                          Gerry Schmitz wrote:

                          All your data is ours.

                          And you think that is a joke!

                          Never underestimate the power of human stupidity - RAH I'm old. I know stuff - JSOP

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