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I need a joke

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  • R rnbergren

    seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

    To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

    S Offline
    S Offline
    Slacker007
    wrote on last edited by
    #3

    What is the name of a popular search engine that most answers to questions can be found with? for $100, Bob.

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • R rnbergren

      seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

      To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

      F Offline
      F Offline
      fgs1963
      wrote on last edited by
      #4

      Q: How can you tell which one of your friends has the latest fancy smartphone? A: Don't worry, they'll let you know.

      R 1 Reply Last reply
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      • R rnbergren

        seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

        To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

        R Offline
        R Offline
        RickZeeland
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        Why didn’t the skeleton have a mobile? He had no body to talk to!

        1 Reply Last reply
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        • R rnbergren

          seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

          To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

          OriginalGriffO Offline
          OriginalGriffO Offline
          OriginalGriff
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          "How can you tell when your sister is ..." no, no - wrong forum ... :-O

          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

          "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
          "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

          S 1 Reply Last reply
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          • R rnbergren

            seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

            To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriffO Offline
            OriginalGriff
            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for the WiFi password. The bar tender replies "You have to buy a drink first" So the man buys a beer. "Ok, so now what's the WiFi password?" The bartender replies "'You have to buy a drink first', all lower case, no spaces."

            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
            "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

            1 Reply Last reply
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            • R rnbergren

              seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

              To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriffO Offline
              OriginalGriff
              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              Why is there no public WiFi in Germany? You're not allowed to ask for anyones SS ID ... Sorry to all Germans ...

              "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

              "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
              "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

              1 Reply Last reply
              0
              • R rnbergren

                seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                M Offline
                M Offline
                MarkTJohnson
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                You could make a TikTok video of your presentation.

                I’ve given up trying to be calm. However, I am open to feeling slightly less agitated.

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                • R rnbergren

                  seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                  To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                  L Offline
                  L Offline
                  Lost User
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  All your data is ours.

                  "Before entering on an understanding, I have meditated for a long time, and have foreseen what might happen. It is not genius which reveals to me suddenly, secretly, what I have to say or to do in a circumstance unexpected by other people; it is reflection, it is meditation." - Napoleon I

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                  • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                    "How can you tell when your sister is ..." no, no - wrong forum ... :-O

                    "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                    S Offline
                    S Offline
                    Single Step Debugger
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #11

                    ...carrying a child? She gets you a new phone for the Father's Day. :-D

                    Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                    OriginalGriffO 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • F fgs1963

                      Q: How can you tell which one of your friends has the latest fancy smartphone? A: Don't worry, they'll let you know.

                      R Offline
                      R Offline
                      rnbergren
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      winner. Thank you

                      To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

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                      • S Single Step Debugger

                        ...carrying a child? She gets you a new phone for the Father's Day. :-D

                        Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

                        OriginalGriffO Offline
                        OriginalGriffO Offline
                        OriginalGriff
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #13

                        Erm ... no. That's one is both clean and tasteful in comparison. Don't try to guess, it'll only get us both banned.

                        "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                        "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony
                        "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt

                        R 1 Reply Last reply
                        0
                        • R rnbergren

                          seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                          To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                          D Offline
                          D Offline
                          dandy72
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #14

                          rnbergren wrote:

                          Smart Phone security for the masses

                          Show up with a brick, and tell them if they're serious about security, that's the phone they should be carrying. Walk off stage. Presentation over.

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                          • OriginalGriffO OriginalGriff

                            Erm ... no. That's one is both clean and tasteful in comparison. Don't try to guess, it'll only get us both banned.

                            "I have no idea what I did, but I'm taking full credit for it." - ThisOldTony "Common sense is so rare these days, it should be classified as a super power" - Random T-shirt AntiTwitter: @DalekDave is now a follower!

                            R Offline
                            R Offline
                            rnbergren
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #15

                            and now I am curious.

                            To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                            1 Reply Last reply
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                            • R rnbergren

                              seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                              To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                              R Offline
                              R Offline
                              RedDk
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #16

                              Q: How do you fix a broken tuba? A: With a "tuba glue."

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • R rnbergren

                                seriously, I am doing a short presentation in a few hours about Smart Phone security for the masses. Basically telling people not to use TikTok and public wifi. Thoughts on a joke to start it with?

                                To err is human to really elephant it up you need a computer

                                B Offline
                                B Offline
                                BernardIE5317
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #17

                                i have never given a public talk . i know nothing re/ same except what i see on the tellie . i am always surprised characters in various stories claim they need a joke to begin such . i vaguely recall a Big Bang Episode re/ same and only recently another such . i always thought it was stupid i.e. a kind of joke . anyway even if a good joke is found how does one sequei to the serious portion ? bada-bing bada-boom ? "I'm here all week . Don't forget to tip the waitresses ."

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                                • L Lost User

                                  All your data is ours.

                                  "Before entering on an understanding, I have meditated for a long time, and have foreseen what might happen. It is not genius which reveals to me suddenly, secretly, what I have to say or to do in a circumstance unexpected by other people; it is reflection, it is meditation." - Napoleon I

                                  M Offline
                                  M Offline
                                  Mycroft Holmes
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #18

                                  Gerry Schmitz wrote:

                                  All your data is ours.

                                  And you think that is a joke!

                                  Never underestimate the power of human stupidity - RAH I'm old. I know stuff - JSOP

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