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  3. Coming out of the closet

Coming out of the closet

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved The Lounge
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  • S soap brain

    Alison P wrote:

    Great! Does that mean you can advise me on soft furnishings? ;)

    Well, if you're in the market for bad advice, sure! ;P

    Alison P wrote:

    Sorry, you know I have to turn everything into a joke!

    I love that quality in a person.

    Alison P wrote:

    ... except maybe the odd cushion question.

    Orange! No, purple! With lace! :-D

    L Offline
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    LittleYellowBird
    wrote on last edited by
    #97

    Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

    Orange!
    No, purple!
    With lace!

    Hmmm .... I'll come back to you on that! ;) :-D

    Ali

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    • S soap brain

      I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

      S Offline
      S Offline
      Single Step Debugger
      wrote on last edited by
      #98

      IMHO everybody here are gay some why or another.

      There is only one Ashley Judd and Salma Hayek is her prophet! Advertise here – minimum three posts per day are guaranteed.

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      • L Lost User

        Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

        I'm an atheist

        But you share a middle initial with Jesus.

        Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

        Well, that remains to be seen

        So we'll have to wait for the future to unravel?

        Every man can tell how many goats or sheep he possesses, but not how many friends.

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        AspDotNetDev
        wrote on last edited by
        #99

        No matter the outcome, there will be reason to rejoyce.

        Martin Fowler wrote:

        Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

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        • S soap brain

          ahmed zahmed wrote:

          Why should his being gay matter? To anyone. It's a private matter that is his business. He shouldn't be treated any differently than anyone else.

          Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society, I can see the utility in not surrendering and hiding away out of sight. Ideally, yes, it shouldn't matter. But it does.

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          P Offline
          Pete OHanlon
          wrote on last edited by
          #100

          Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

          when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society

          What, developing on Windows?

          Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads

          My blog | My articles | MoXAML PowerToys | Mole 2010 - debugging made easier - my favourite utility

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          • S soap brain

            wizardzz wrote:

            Did you recently come out in your life, too? Or is this just a CP outing?

            I've told a few people in real life. Nobody in my family, though.

            wizardzz wrote:

            Also, where is your italicized quote in your profile from?

            Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths[^]

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            TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
            wrote on last edited by
            #101

            Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

            Existentialist Firefighter Delays 3 Deaths[^]

            That's damned hilarious! I love this quote: "Either way, there will be anguish and sorrow at some unknown point." As well as the one in your profile. LMAO

            If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
            You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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            • S soap brain

              ahmed zahmed wrote:

              You want a medal or something?

              Well, that wasn't my aim, but I wouldn't say 'no'...

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              TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
              wrote on last edited by
              #102

              LOL. I didn't really think so. It saddens me though that you are made to feel the need to "announce" anything. It shouldn't be that way. One should be accepted and loved and cared about for who they are. I hope your life is happy as can be.

              If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
              You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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              • A AspDotNetDev

                No matter the outcome, there will be reason to rejoyce.

                Martin Fowler wrote:

                Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

                T Offline
                T Offline
                TheGreatAndPowerfulOz
                wrote on last edited by
                #103

                AspDotNetDev wrote:

                rejoyce

                Snort! :laugh: :laugh: 5!

                If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
                You must accept one of two basic premises: Either we are alone in the universe, or we are not alone in the universe. And either way, the implications are staggering” - Wernher von Braun

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                • I Ian Shlasko

                  Congratulations. I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that... Granted, I live in a very liberal area, so it's really a non-issue here.

                  Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                  Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

                  J Offline
                  J Offline
                  Jorgen Andersson
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #104

                  Ian Shlasko wrote:

                  I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that

                  Neither have I. But when my best friend came out of the closet, my response without any thought was: "I'm not going to stop making gay jokes just because of that", which in hindsight seems to have been the right answer. But you know what? I basically did stop telling them. They have to be really good to be worth telling nowadays. And gays knows all the jokes already.

                  List of common misconceptions

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                  • S soap brain

                    I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

                    J Offline
                    J Offline
                    Jorgen Andersson
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #105

                    I have a couple of friends that are gay, and their experience was that it's worse to tell people the closer they are. But keep in mind that the friends that doesn't accept it, aren't worth having as friends! Family is worse, but if they love you they will accept it. When my best friend finally scraped together enough guts to tell his family, his father told him: We've known for years son, I'm happy you have found yourself.

                    List of common misconceptions

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                    • S soap brain

                      I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

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                      CalvinHobbies
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #106

                      with all respect bud, you are Ravel, gay or straight. that's all that matters. it's you for you. how's things where you are? :) (pours you some coffee).

                      ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                      • L Lost User

                        ahmed zahmed wrote:

                        Why should his being gay matter?

                        It does.

                        ahmed zahmed wrote:

                        To anyone

                        To the person concerned.

                        ahmed zahmed wrote:

                        It's a private matter that is his business. He should be treated any differently than anyone else.

                        I agree, thats why he is coming out, so he can be treated fairly by himself.

                        ============================== Nothing to say.

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                        CalvinHobbies
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #107

                        Fat__Eric wrote:

                        ahmed zahmed wrote:

                        Why should his being gay matter?

                        It does.

                        ahmed zahmed wrote:

                        To anyone

                        To the person concerned.

                        ahmed zahmed wrote:

                        It's a private matter that is his business. He should be treated any differently
                        than anyone else.

                        I agree, thats why he is coming out, so he can be treated fairly by himself.

                        I can't speak for anyone else except me and my "circle of friends" on this topic. "why does it matter", as he's still the Ravel we know. It's not like he turned into a incrediable hulk or said he was concervative right winger. we look at him for "him". For Ravel though it's a big deal as he can be open about it and feel like he doesn't need to "hide". and don't say hetros aren't open about theirs as I've seen "tail" waggings. and people do try to hide "themselves" as lets face it, the human race is a bunch idiots and chastise anything and everything that's different, so can make things hard. I congratulate Ravel in his openness and able to take his "breath" but also letting him know, he's still a good bud to chat with and I think him non the different.

                        ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                        • S soap brain

                          ahmed zahmed wrote:

                          Why should his being gay matter? To anyone. It's a private matter that is his business. He shouldn't be treated any differently than anyone else.

                          Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society, I can see the utility in not surrendering and hiding away out of sight. Ideally, yes, it shouldn't matter. But it does.

                          J Offline
                          J Offline
                          jschell
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #108

                          Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                          Other people make it their business, and when you're in a despised minority whose rights are being actively undermined by prominent groups in society

                          ...in societies.

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                          • D Dalek Dave

                            Thanks for that, it makes no difference to anyone here you know. But, firstly, I know it can be difficult to admit it at first, (I have gay and Lesbian friends who had terrible trouble admitting it), so well done. Secondly, unless people are living in the middle ages (or the 1950's or Croydon), it is of little matter. I am a Fat, Middle-aged, Conservative Man with a nasty drug habit (Smoke, Drink and Eat Cheese), it is who I am. Your sexuality is your own concern. Whatever, young dude, just be yourself and don't go screaming queen on us. (Even amongst my Gay friends, they dislike Screaming Queens). So long as whatever you do is legal, consensual and nobody is hurt, who gives a tinker's cuss?

                            ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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                            J Offline
                            jschell
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #109

                            Dalek Dave wrote:

                            Secondly, unless people are living in the middle ages (or the 1950's or Croydon), it is of little matter.

                            It certainly matters quite a deal in a significant and perhaps majority of the world. Some of the more 'civilized' places at least provide the facade of making it illegal rather than just leaving one to the mob. There are some countries where it seems more acceptable and accepted but certainly in the US there are large numbers of people who react negatively and some times in extreme ways to it. The only bright spot there is that it appears that those numbers are shrinking.

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                            • D Dalek Dave

                              Political, have you tried telling your mother? Diplomacy is required. Although when my friend Biggles came out, he stood in the pub and said "I just need to clear the air and let you all know that I am gay". We all stood, shocked. Shocked that he felt he had to tell us, we all knew.

                              ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

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                              C Offline
                              CalvinHobbies
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #110

                              my Cousin was slowly "coming out" to family, hadn't told me yet ( course wasn't hard to tell, and I know a lot of people). he was suppose to give me a ride, but he wanted to go out to the club, made him nervous that I wanted to go as well ( my favorite pub was near where he was going, I just didn't say that part). turned whiter when I said "yah, I'l even come in for a few beers" (I really need to learn about mentioning details quicker). :-\

                              ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                              • D Dalek Dave

                                Bi - No probs Dim - we all are from time to time. Offensive - Regularly, like me. Wrong - Wait a moment...

                                Fat__Eric wrote:

                                I am actually English, though I prefer the French

                                See, Wrong! And it is also a choice. :)

                                ------------------------------------ I will never again mention that I was the poster of the One Millionth Lounge Post, nor that it was complete drivel. Dalek Dave CCC Link[^] Trolls[^]

                                C Offline
                                C Offline
                                CalvinHobbies
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #111

                                Dalek Dave wrote:

                                Fat__Eric wrote:

                                I am actually English, though I prefer the French

                                See, Wrong!
                                 
                                And it is also a choice. :)

                                likes his cake and eats it too. ( if this was inoprop, let me know / block it, I'm sorry, they started it. )

                                ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                                • S soap brain

                                  digital man wrote:

                                  and?

                                  I'm an atheist. ;P

                                  digital man wrote:

                                  p.s. No future Ravels?

                                  Well, that remains to be seen.

                                  C Offline
                                  C Offline
                                  CalvinHobbies
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #112

                                  Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                                  digital man wrote:

                                  and?

                                  I'm an atheist. ;-P

                                  atheist? that's it get out... ( joking, )

                                  Ravel H. Joyce wrote:

                                  digital man wrote:

                                  p.s. No future Ravels?

                                  Well, that remains to be seen.

                                  who knows, you may even adopt. not like kids are a big deal, some are for them, some aren't.

                                  ///////////////// -I’m a DHCP server at a local restaurant. This chick came up and asked me for my address, and I told her she was out of my scope -Why do Java Programmers wear glasses? Because they don’t C#

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                                  • L Lost User

                                    "The Lounge is a place where you can discuss anything that takes your fancy." It is for people to talk about things that are going on in their life. Ravel obviously feels the need to tells us this as part of accepting who he is. The least you can do is offer a bit of support for what is a difficult but important statement.

                                    ============================== Nothing to say.

                                    realJSOPR Offline
                                    realJSOPR Offline
                                    realJSOP
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #113

                                    As my friends in the UK are fond of saying - Bollocks!

                                    ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                    -----
                                    You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                    -----
                                    "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

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                                    • F fjdiewornncalwe

                                      No, it was rude.

                                      I wasn't, now I am, then I won't be anymore.

                                      realJSOPR Offline
                                      realJSOPR Offline
                                      realJSOP
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #114

                                      Noooo... I'M the rude one (and I haven't decided yet if I'm going to be, but I'm leaning toward it).

                                      ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                      -----
                                      You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                      -----
                                      "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • I Ian Shlasko

                                        Congratulations. I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that... Granted, I live in a very liberal area, so it's really a non-issue here.

                                        Proud to have finally moved to the A-Ark. Which one are you in?
                                        Author of the Guardians Saga (Sci-Fi/Fantasy novels)

                                        realJSOPR Offline
                                        realJSOPR Offline
                                        realJSOP
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #115

                                        Ian Shlasko wrote:

                                        I live in a very liberal area

                                        I don't...

                                        Ian Shlasko wrote:

                                        I never did figure out the proper way to respond to a revelation like that...

                                        We have pamphlets down here in Texas. I can send you one (although if you're a liberal, it may offend you).

                                        ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                        -----
                                        You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                        -----
                                        "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • S soap brain

                                          I'm gay. Not a hugely interesting revelation, I freely confess, so I shan't go on about it.

                                          realJSOPR Offline
                                          realJSOPR Offline
                                          realJSOP
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #116

                                          After reading all of the congratulatory rhetoric, I'm going to step up and be the person everyone expects me to be. Why do you people feel the need to announce your abhorrent proclivities on a programming forum? After all, we straight folks don't announce it or throw it in anyone else's faces. If you think you're gay, hey - that's okay with me, but I don't think it's necessary to tell me about it (you should have posted this in the soapbox where I rarely go if you didn't want my opinion on the matter). I think it's a freakish lifestyle, and I really don't want to hear about it. I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear (and I'll probably get 1-bombed for being honest), but "damn the torpedoes...", and all that.

                                          ".45 ACP - because shooting twice is just silly" - JSOP, 2010
                                          -----
                                          You can never have too much ammo - unless you're swimming, or on fire. - JSOP, 2010
                                          -----
                                          "Why don't you tie a kerosene-soaked rag around your ankles so the ants won't climb up and eat your candy ass." - Dale Earnhardt, 1997

                                          L S 2 Replies Last reply
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