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  3. What corporate buzzwords do you hate? [modified]

What corporate buzzwords do you hate? [modified]

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  • J Josh Smith

    My top 3: Buzzword: Cycles Usage: If you have some free cycles, let me know, we have plenty of work to do. Reason for hate: I am not a machine, therefore I do not have little cogs and gears whirling around. Buzzword: Circle Back Usage: Why don't you go read my memo and then circle back to me when you get a chance. Reason for hate: What office is arranged in such a way that I could travel in a perfect circle and get tasks done? What kind of simple minded oaf thinks that life is that simple? Buzzword: Ballpark Usage: I don't need exact figures here, just ballpark it for me. Reason for hate: Ballpark is a noun. And what the hell does a ballpark have to do with an estimate?! X|

    :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

    -- modified at 10:34 Friday 21st July, 2006 Upon second thought, perhaps I should have phrased the question as "What corporate buzzwords do you not hate?" That would have made it much easier to write your complete answer! None!! :-D

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    Peg814asus
    wrote on last edited by
    #88

    Remove 'proactive' from the corporate vocabulary!

    1 Reply Last reply
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    • T ToddHileHoffer

      Check my signature.

      how vital enterprise application are for proactive organizations leveraging collective synergy to think outside the box and formulate their key objectives into a win-win game plan with a quality-driven approach that focuses on empowering key players to drive-up their core competencies and increase expectations with an all-around initiative to drive up the bottom-line. But of course, that's all a "high level" overview of things --thedailywtf 3/21/06

      C Offline
      C Offline
      Chris Meech
      wrote on last edited by
      #89

      Actually I've been meaning to let you know just exactly how I feel about your sig. It scares the shit it out of me. :)

      Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] When no one was looking, every single American woman between the ages of 18 and 32 went out and got a tatoo just above their rumpus. [link[^]]

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      • B Blake Miller

        Ping me when you have some spare cycles, so I can circle back to you, we will aquire some more resources and synergistically ballpark an estimate for adding value to our software.

        Any sufficiently gross incompetence is nearly indistinguishable from malice.

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        E Offline
        esolliday
        wrote on last edited by
        #90

        Sounds like Management material:laugh:

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        • P Paul Conrad

          Wes Aday wrote:

          instead of manufacturing process.... it's a value stream.....

          Yeah, X|

          Wes Aday wrote:

          Why is common sense not common?

          Maybe it costs too many cents :laugh:

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          T Offline
          Tim Kohler
          wrote on last edited by
          #91

          PaulC1972 wrote:

          Wes Aday wrote: Why is common sense not common?

          Because 50-75% of managers would be out of a job.

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          • T Tim Kohler

            PaulC1972 wrote:

            Wes Aday wrote: Why is common sense not common?

            Because 50-75% of managers would be out of a job.

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            P Offline
            Paul Conrad
            wrote on last edited by
            #92

            Tim Kohler wrote:

            Because 50-75% of managers would be out of a job.

            I imagine the business landscape would look different. No more pointy-haired bosses :-D

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            • C Chris Meech

              Actually I've been meaning to let you know just exactly how I feel about your sig. It scares the shit it out of me. :)

              Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] When no one was looking, every single American woman between the ages of 18 and 32 went out and got a tatoo just above their rumpus. [link[^]]

              J Offline
              J Offline
              Josh Smith
              wrote on last edited by
              #93

              Yo Meech, how's the vegemite treating you? :laugh:

              :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

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              • J Josh Smith

                My top 3: Buzzword: Cycles Usage: If you have some free cycles, let me know, we have plenty of work to do. Reason for hate: I am not a machine, therefore I do not have little cogs and gears whirling around. Buzzword: Circle Back Usage: Why don't you go read my memo and then circle back to me when you get a chance. Reason for hate: What office is arranged in such a way that I could travel in a perfect circle and get tasks done? What kind of simple minded oaf thinks that life is that simple? Buzzword: Ballpark Usage: I don't need exact figures here, just ballpark it for me. Reason for hate: Ballpark is a noun. And what the hell does a ballpark have to do with an estimate?! X|

                :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

                -- modified at 10:34 Friday 21st July, 2006 Upon second thought, perhaps I should have phrased the question as "What corporate buzzwords do you not hate?" That would have made it much easier to write your complete answer! None!! :-D

                D Offline
                D Offline
                David Veeneman
                wrote on last edited by
                #94

                Do people play Buzzword Bingo any more? It got me through many a dull meeting, half of which I ran...

                David Veeneman www.veeneman.com

                P 1 Reply Last reply
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                • J Josh Smith

                  My top 3: Buzzword: Cycles Usage: If you have some free cycles, let me know, we have plenty of work to do. Reason for hate: I am not a machine, therefore I do not have little cogs and gears whirling around. Buzzword: Circle Back Usage: Why don't you go read my memo and then circle back to me when you get a chance. Reason for hate: What office is arranged in such a way that I could travel in a perfect circle and get tasks done? What kind of simple minded oaf thinks that life is that simple? Buzzword: Ballpark Usage: I don't need exact figures here, just ballpark it for me. Reason for hate: Ballpark is a noun. And what the hell does a ballpark have to do with an estimate?! X|

                  :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

                  -- modified at 10:34 Friday 21st July, 2006 Upon second thought, perhaps I should have phrased the question as "What corporate buzzwords do you not hate?" That would have made it much easier to write your complete answer! None!! :-D

                  A Offline
                  A Offline
                  Albert Pascual
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #95

                  back burner kills me.

                  My eMail control My Blog

                  P 1 Reply Last reply
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                  • C charlieg

                    SWAG is NOT that term - it is silly wild ass guess to distinguish it from WAG - a more accurate wild ass guess :)

                    Charlie Gilley Will program for food... Whoever said children were cheaper by the dozen... lied. My son's PDA is an M249 SAW.

                    J Offline
                    J Offline
                    JJM06
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #96

                    Not to be confused with Shwag, which is the crap you get at a conference. :)

                    1 Reply Last reply
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                    • J Josh Smith

                      My top 3: Buzzword: Cycles Usage: If you have some free cycles, let me know, we have plenty of work to do. Reason for hate: I am not a machine, therefore I do not have little cogs and gears whirling around. Buzzword: Circle Back Usage: Why don't you go read my memo and then circle back to me when you get a chance. Reason for hate: What office is arranged in such a way that I could travel in a perfect circle and get tasks done? What kind of simple minded oaf thinks that life is that simple? Buzzword: Ballpark Usage: I don't need exact figures here, just ballpark it for me. Reason for hate: Ballpark is a noun. And what the hell does a ballpark have to do with an estimate?! X|

                      :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

                      -- modified at 10:34 Friday 21st July, 2006 Upon second thought, perhaps I should have phrased the question as "What corporate buzzwords do you not hate?" That would have made it much easier to write your complete answer! None!! :-D

                      S Offline
                      S Offline
                      Shane Brodie
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #97

                      Service Pack - It's not a "Service Pack" ... it's a package of "Bug Fixes" ... or Post-Marketting Hype Repairs. :-D Beta Release - In the in-shop developing environment, there is no such thing as a "Beta Release". Your "Beta" is prodution ready the first time management sees a usable screen. And you get to try keep up with the feature requests and bug fixes while the system is in full production live mode. :omg:

                      Shane (I really need a vaction) Brodie

                      P 1 Reply Last reply
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                      • J Josh Smith

                        My top 3: Buzzword: Cycles Usage: If you have some free cycles, let me know, we have plenty of work to do. Reason for hate: I am not a machine, therefore I do not have little cogs and gears whirling around. Buzzword: Circle Back Usage: Why don't you go read my memo and then circle back to me when you get a chance. Reason for hate: What office is arranged in such a way that I could travel in a perfect circle and get tasks done? What kind of simple minded oaf thinks that life is that simple? Buzzword: Ballpark Usage: I don't need exact figures here, just ballpark it for me. Reason for hate: Ballpark is a noun. And what the hell does a ballpark have to do with an estimate?! X|

                        :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

                        -- modified at 10:34 Friday 21st July, 2006 Upon second thought, perhaps I should have phrased the question as "What corporate buzzwords do you not hate?" That would have made it much easier to write your complete answer! None!! :-D

                        A Offline
                        A Offline
                        ajdiaz
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #98

                        I hate ASAP. I also hate "I need it YESTERDAY". Neither one helps. And neither can be more uncertain from an accurate time estimate.

                        P 1 Reply Last reply
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                        • B Blake Miller

                          Ping me when you have some spare cycles, so I can circle back to you, we will aquire some more resources and synergistically ballpark an estimate for adding value to our software.

                          Any sufficiently gross incompetence is nearly indistinguishable from malice.

                          G Offline
                          G Offline
                          Gary R Wheeler
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #99

                          Must... control... vomitus... of... death...


                          Software Zen: delete this;

                          Fold With Us![^]

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                          • B Bassam Abdul Baki

                            Think outside the box is my all-time low.


                            "People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them." - Anonymous Web - Blog - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

                            T Offline
                            T Offline
                            Tillman Erb
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #100

                            If you keep being asked to think outside the box, then there's something wrong with the box. (not mine--can't remember whose)

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                            • T Tillman Erb

                              If you keep being asked to think outside the box, then there's something wrong with the box. (not mine--can't remember whose)

                              B Offline
                              B Offline
                              Bassam Abdul Baki
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #101

                              Now there's a blind man's (manager's) reply.


                              "Religion is assurance in numbers." - Bassam Abdul-Baki

                              Web - Blog - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

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                              • P Paul Brower

                                Although it is a technical term, I'm getting tired of hearing: Cyclomatic Complexity

                                -- modified at 11:09 Friday 21st July, 2006

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                                L Offline
                                Lost User
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #102

                                A bicycle that is difficult to repair? :rolleyes:

                                The tigress is here :-D

                                1 Reply Last reply
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                                • T Tillman Erb

                                  If you keep being asked to think outside the box, then there's something wrong with the box. (not mine--can't remember whose)

                                  P Offline
                                  P Offline
                                  Paul Conrad
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #103

                                  Tillman Erb wrote:

                                  there's something wrong with the box.

                                  Maybe it's too small?

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • D David Veeneman

                                    Do people play Buzzword Bingo any more? It got me through many a dull meeting, half of which I ran...

                                    David Veeneman www.veeneman.com

                                    P Offline
                                    P Offline
                                    Paul Conrad
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #104

                                    David Veeneman wrote:

                                    Do people play Buzzword Bingo any more?

                                    As far as I know, my mom still does at work and managers haven't gotten the hint yet :laugh:

                                    1 Reply Last reply
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                                    • A Albert Pascual

                                      back burner kills me.

                                      My eMail control My Blog

                                      P Offline
                                      P Offline
                                      Paul Conrad
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #105

                                      Albert Pascual wrote:

                                      back burner

                                      I cannot stand it. Especially when added with other buzzwords. Just starts to smell when it is all burning :-D

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • A ajdiaz

                                        I hate ASAP. I also hate "I need it YESTERDAY". Neither one helps. And neither can be more uncertain from an accurate time estimate.

                                        P Offline
                                        P Offline
                                        Paul Conrad
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #106

                                        ajdiaz wrote:

                                        I hate ASAP. I also hate "I need it YESTERDAY".

                                        Yep, those two really stink :)

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • S Shane Brodie

                                          Service Pack - It's not a "Service Pack" ... it's a package of "Bug Fixes" ... or Post-Marketting Hype Repairs. :-D Beta Release - In the in-shop developing environment, there is no such thing as a "Beta Release". Your "Beta" is prodution ready the first time management sees a usable screen. And you get to try keep up with the feature requests and bug fixes while the system is in full production live mode. :omg:

                                          Shane (I really need a vaction) Brodie

                                          P Offline
                                          P Offline
                                          Paul Conrad
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #107

                                          sbrodie wrote:

                                          Service Pack - It's not a "Service Pack" ... it's a package of "Bug Fixes" ... or Post-Marketting Hype Repairs

                                          You got it. Service Pack is just a dumb way of saying Bug Fixes. Bug Fixes is shorter to type than Service Pack :rolleyes:

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