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  3. What corporate buzzwords do you hate? [modified]

What corporate buzzwords do you hate? [modified]

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  • T ToddHileHoffer

    Check my signature.

    how vital enterprise application are for proactive organizations leveraging collective synergy to think outside the box and formulate their key objectives into a win-win game plan with a quality-driven approach that focuses on empowering key players to drive-up their core competencies and increase expectations with an all-around initiative to drive up the bottom-line. But of course, that's all a "high level" overview of things --thedailywtf 3/21/06

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    Chris Meech
    wrote on last edited by
    #89

    Actually I've been meaning to let you know just exactly how I feel about your sig. It scares the shit it out of me. :)

    Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] When no one was looking, every single American woman between the ages of 18 and 32 went out and got a tatoo just above their rumpus. [link[^]]

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    • B Blake Miller

      Ping me when you have some spare cycles, so I can circle back to you, we will aquire some more resources and synergistically ballpark an estimate for adding value to our software.

      Any sufficiently gross incompetence is nearly indistinguishable from malice.

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      E Offline
      esolliday
      wrote on last edited by
      #90

      Sounds like Management material:laugh:

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      • P Paul Conrad

        Wes Aday wrote:

        instead of manufacturing process.... it's a value stream.....

        Yeah, X|

        Wes Aday wrote:

        Why is common sense not common?

        Maybe it costs too many cents :laugh:

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        Tim Kohler
        wrote on last edited by
        #91

        PaulC1972 wrote:

        Wes Aday wrote: Why is common sense not common?

        Because 50-75% of managers would be out of a job.

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        • T Tim Kohler

          PaulC1972 wrote:

          Wes Aday wrote: Why is common sense not common?

          Because 50-75% of managers would be out of a job.

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          Paul Conrad
          wrote on last edited by
          #92

          Tim Kohler wrote:

          Because 50-75% of managers would be out of a job.

          I imagine the business landscape would look different. No more pointy-haired bosses :-D

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          • C Chris Meech

            Actually I've been meaning to let you know just exactly how I feel about your sig. It scares the shit it out of me. :)

            Chris Meech I am Canadian. [heard in a local bar] When no one was looking, every single American woman between the ages of 18 and 32 went out and got a tatoo just above their rumpus. [link[^]]

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            Josh Smith
            wrote on last edited by
            #93

            Yo Meech, how's the vegemite treating you? :laugh:

            :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

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            • J Josh Smith

              My top 3: Buzzword: Cycles Usage: If you have some free cycles, let me know, we have plenty of work to do. Reason for hate: I am not a machine, therefore I do not have little cogs and gears whirling around. Buzzword: Circle Back Usage: Why don't you go read my memo and then circle back to me when you get a chance. Reason for hate: What office is arranged in such a way that I could travel in a perfect circle and get tasks done? What kind of simple minded oaf thinks that life is that simple? Buzzword: Ballpark Usage: I don't need exact figures here, just ballpark it for me. Reason for hate: Ballpark is a noun. And what the hell does a ballpark have to do with an estimate?! X|

              :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

              -- modified at 10:34 Friday 21st July, 2006 Upon second thought, perhaps I should have phrased the question as "What corporate buzzwords do you not hate?" That would have made it much easier to write your complete answer! None!! :-D

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              D Offline
              David Veeneman
              wrote on last edited by
              #94

              Do people play Buzzword Bingo any more? It got me through many a dull meeting, half of which I ran...

              David Veeneman www.veeneman.com

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              • J Josh Smith

                My top 3: Buzzword: Cycles Usage: If you have some free cycles, let me know, we have plenty of work to do. Reason for hate: I am not a machine, therefore I do not have little cogs and gears whirling around. Buzzword: Circle Back Usage: Why don't you go read my memo and then circle back to me when you get a chance. Reason for hate: What office is arranged in such a way that I could travel in a perfect circle and get tasks done? What kind of simple minded oaf thinks that life is that simple? Buzzword: Ballpark Usage: I don't need exact figures here, just ballpark it for me. Reason for hate: Ballpark is a noun. And what the hell does a ballpark have to do with an estimate?! X|

                :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

                -- modified at 10:34 Friday 21st July, 2006 Upon second thought, perhaps I should have phrased the question as "What corporate buzzwords do you not hate?" That would have made it much easier to write your complete answer! None!! :-D

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                Albert Pascual
                wrote on last edited by
                #95

                back burner kills me.

                My eMail control My Blog

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                • C charlieg

                  SWAG is NOT that term - it is silly wild ass guess to distinguish it from WAG - a more accurate wild ass guess :)

                  Charlie Gilley Will program for food... Whoever said children were cheaper by the dozen... lied. My son's PDA is an M249 SAW.

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                  JJM06
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #96

                  Not to be confused with Shwag, which is the crap you get at a conference. :)

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                  • J Josh Smith

                    My top 3: Buzzword: Cycles Usage: If you have some free cycles, let me know, we have plenty of work to do. Reason for hate: I am not a machine, therefore I do not have little cogs and gears whirling around. Buzzword: Circle Back Usage: Why don't you go read my memo and then circle back to me when you get a chance. Reason for hate: What office is arranged in such a way that I could travel in a perfect circle and get tasks done? What kind of simple minded oaf thinks that life is that simple? Buzzword: Ballpark Usage: I don't need exact figures here, just ballpark it for me. Reason for hate: Ballpark is a noun. And what the hell does a ballpark have to do with an estimate?! X|

                    :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

                    -- modified at 10:34 Friday 21st July, 2006 Upon second thought, perhaps I should have phrased the question as "What corporate buzzwords do you not hate?" That would have made it much easier to write your complete answer! None!! :-D

                    S Offline
                    S Offline
                    Shane Brodie
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #97

                    Service Pack - It's not a "Service Pack" ... it's a package of "Bug Fixes" ... or Post-Marketting Hype Repairs. :-D Beta Release - In the in-shop developing environment, there is no such thing as a "Beta Release". Your "Beta" is prodution ready the first time management sees a usable screen. And you get to try keep up with the feature requests and bug fixes while the system is in full production live mode. :omg:

                    Shane (I really need a vaction) Brodie

                    P 1 Reply Last reply
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                    • J Josh Smith

                      My top 3: Buzzword: Cycles Usage: If you have some free cycles, let me know, we have plenty of work to do. Reason for hate: I am not a machine, therefore I do not have little cogs and gears whirling around. Buzzword: Circle Back Usage: Why don't you go read my memo and then circle back to me when you get a chance. Reason for hate: What office is arranged in such a way that I could travel in a perfect circle and get tasks done? What kind of simple minded oaf thinks that life is that simple? Buzzword: Ballpark Usage: I don't need exact figures here, just ballpark it for me. Reason for hate: Ballpark is a noun. And what the hell does a ballpark have to do with an estimate?! X|

                      :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

                      -- modified at 10:34 Friday 21st July, 2006 Upon second thought, perhaps I should have phrased the question as "What corporate buzzwords do you not hate?" That would have made it much easier to write your complete answer! None!! :-D

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                      ajdiaz
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #98

                      I hate ASAP. I also hate "I need it YESTERDAY". Neither one helps. And neither can be more uncertain from an accurate time estimate.

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                      • B Blake Miller

                        Ping me when you have some spare cycles, so I can circle back to you, we will aquire some more resources and synergistically ballpark an estimate for adding value to our software.

                        Any sufficiently gross incompetence is nearly indistinguishable from malice.

                        G Offline
                        G Offline
                        Gary R Wheeler
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #99

                        Must... control... vomitus... of... death...


                        Software Zen: delete this;

                        Fold With Us![^]

                        1 Reply Last reply
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                        • B Bassam Abdul Baki

                          Think outside the box is my all-time low.


                          "People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them." - Anonymous Web - Blog - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

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                          Tillman Erb
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #100

                          If you keep being asked to think outside the box, then there's something wrong with the box. (not mine--can't remember whose)

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                          • T Tillman Erb

                            If you keep being asked to think outside the box, then there's something wrong with the box. (not mine--can't remember whose)

                            B Offline
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                            Bassam Abdul Baki
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #101

                            Now there's a blind man's (manager's) reply.


                            "Religion is assurance in numbers." - Bassam Abdul-Baki

                            Web - Blog - RSS - Math - LinkedIn

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                            • P Paul Brower

                              Although it is a technical term, I'm getting tired of hearing: Cyclomatic Complexity

                              -- modified at 11:09 Friday 21st July, 2006

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                              L Offline
                              Lost User
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #102

                              A bicycle that is difficult to repair? :rolleyes:

                              The tigress is here :-D

                              1 Reply Last reply
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                              • T Tillman Erb

                                If you keep being asked to think outside the box, then there's something wrong with the box. (not mine--can't remember whose)

                                P Offline
                                P Offline
                                Paul Conrad
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #103

                                Tillman Erb wrote:

                                there's something wrong with the box.

                                Maybe it's too small?

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                                • D David Veeneman

                                  Do people play Buzzword Bingo any more? It got me through many a dull meeting, half of which I ran...

                                  David Veeneman www.veeneman.com

                                  P Offline
                                  P Offline
                                  Paul Conrad
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #104

                                  David Veeneman wrote:

                                  Do people play Buzzword Bingo any more?

                                  As far as I know, my mom still does at work and managers haven't gotten the hint yet :laugh:

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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                                  • A Albert Pascual

                                    back burner kills me.

                                    My eMail control My Blog

                                    P Offline
                                    P Offline
                                    Paul Conrad
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #105

                                    Albert Pascual wrote:

                                    back burner

                                    I cannot stand it. Especially when added with other buzzwords. Just starts to smell when it is all burning :-D

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                                    • A ajdiaz

                                      I hate ASAP. I also hate "I need it YESTERDAY". Neither one helps. And neither can be more uncertain from an accurate time estimate.

                                      P Offline
                                      P Offline
                                      Paul Conrad
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #106

                                      ajdiaz wrote:

                                      I hate ASAP. I also hate "I need it YESTERDAY".

                                      Yep, those two really stink :)

                                      1 Reply Last reply
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                                      • S Shane Brodie

                                        Service Pack - It's not a "Service Pack" ... it's a package of "Bug Fixes" ... or Post-Marketting Hype Repairs. :-D Beta Release - In the in-shop developing environment, there is no such thing as a "Beta Release". Your "Beta" is prodution ready the first time management sees a usable screen. And you get to try keep up with the feature requests and bug fixes while the system is in full production live mode. :omg:

                                        Shane (I really need a vaction) Brodie

                                        P Offline
                                        P Offline
                                        Paul Conrad
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #107

                                        sbrodie wrote:

                                        Service Pack - It's not a "Service Pack" ... it's a package of "Bug Fixes" ... or Post-Marketting Hype Repairs

                                        You got it. Service Pack is just a dumb way of saying Bug Fixes. Bug Fixes is shorter to type than Service Pack :rolleyes:

                                        1 Reply Last reply
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                                        • J Josh Smith

                                          Douglas Troy wrote:

                                          I've found, most people stop trying to ask me anything by the time I'm done with them, or learn not to really quick.

                                          Fight mire with fire!

                                          :josh: My WPF Blog[^]

                                          G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          Gary R Wheeler
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #108

                                          <whing> But Josh, they won't let me bring my flamethrower in the building... <whing>


                                          Software Zen: delete this;

                                          Fold With Us![^]

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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